Saturday, December 31, 2005

My year ender for 2005

For some weird reason, i neglected my blog for the past months. Since it's a new year, i think i should put a year end report or something like that so that I have something to compare my life with when it's new year of 2007 comes.

Ok... I checked out my new year entry for 2005 and here it is:


1. I will not neglect my health anymore.
2. Less shopping sprees... save more.
3. I will be more kind to other people.
4. I will try to reduce my mood swings.
5. I will take java certification exam this year.
6. I will religiously follow my planned diet. :D


What have I've done and what have I become this past 2005...

1. I had regular check-ups with my doc. Although at times I do forget going to my doc, good thing im required to submit a medical certificate everytime I leave out of the country. So I had like ummm... ive had medical check-ups roughly around 5 times last 2005. Not bad! Oh also, i dont smoke that much anymore. I actually barely smoke especially when im here in helsinki.

2. This is something I dont think i can ever get rid of. I think i saved more money than last 2004's but that's because I was here in finland for more than 5 months in 2005. Some of the nice things I bought last year were:
- my desktop
- digicam (canon ixus 7MP)
- n6230
- lots of shoes (hehe)
- my old mp3 player... HH gave me his ipod now so I have a new one. =)

ok... im a techno geek, i know!

3. talk about being kind last year... i gained, let's see... a handful of new friends , definitely more enemies and lost one very good friend. =( oh well, i cant please everybody. at least now I know who my true friends are and who are the people whom I can trust.

4. I dont know if I was able to do this. maybe i need to ask HH. he's always a victim of my moodswings.

5. For the Nth time I placed java certification in my list of goals during performance evaluation in the office, I still failed fulfilling it last 2005. Hayyy.. when will i ever get the right urge and passion to study again?!

6. Diet? what's that? hehe. I gained a lot when I got back home last august. Probably because it was my way of counteracting depression.

So.. i've failed most of my new year resolutions last year. It's a bad sign. Bad as it may seem, I think 2005 will be my most memorable year. Some of the things that I will never forget that happened last 2005 are:

1. Got back with the architect but ended up losing him for good. Honestly, this last time that we got back together was my happiest. I really did love him and for everything bad I did to him, I was really sorry. Maybe this was god's way of telling me to finally let him go. I know wherever he is now, he is happy. I know that someday I will see him and I hope I can forgive him. My life has definitely changed without him. I will always miss the friend I enjoy conversing with. May he rest in peace.

2. I gained new enemies... the architect's family and my cousin. Will not elaborate further but this is one of the very bad things in 2005.

3. Was here in helsinki for almost half of the year and I enjoyed it! For the greater part of my stay here, I was enjoying my work though it was really challenging.

4. Tito Jhun died. My uncle, mom's youngest sibling died last april.

5. My other uncle's marriage is breaking apart. There's a third party that's why. This uncle and aunt of mine are like my second parents. When I was younger, I would always go out with their family during weekends. Seeing them not able to work things out anymore breaks my heart too.

6. HH and I have a better relationship. one that is based on trust and love for each other. I may have been bad the start of the year, but when I said I will work things out with HH, I really did my best. HH are happier now.

7. HH's mom and stepdad got married. I am really happy for HH's mom.

8. Jaime, my boss, my mentor, my councilor, my good example, got married last april 2005.

9. HH is enjoying culinary school. He graduated already but will still have to do ojt. Finally reliving his dream career!

10. Boss offered me L1 visa to the US. That's inter-company transfer to our U.S. branch. It is a good privilege but I havent decided yet if im going to take it or not.

Im looking forward to a more fruitful 2006. I hope God will continue to shower his blessings to me and to my family. Thank you Lord for 2005!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Friendster Survey #13

1. Christmas is coming! Where will you spend it?
= in Helsinki... unfortunately alone and away from my family for a change

2. When will you paint your nails blue?
= when I learn to stop biting on my nails

3. You gotta have a crush. What's the name?
= clark kent... tom welling

4. Have you watched Harry Potter's latest movie?
= of course

5. You have a God forbidden acne right on your nose! What do you do now?
= go to my derma

6. Are you pregnant?
= i wish!

7. What OPM Band do you absolutely abhor?
= hmmmm.... im not so familiar with who's popular in manila these days

8. How do you find your Dad?
= hardworking, has an unbelievable amount of patience that I definitely did not inherit

9. How do you find your Mum?
= cool mom but I think im more mom-like to my siblings than to my mom

10. Let me guess, your dream job is to be a Rallyist.
= never!

11. Does your name have a "Q" in it?
= nope

12. Have you ever sneaked out of your house?
= nope

13. Are you keeping a Diary?
= yup. this blog and an old handwritten diary when i was younger

14. Where do you keep your shoes?
= under my bed... tons of it!

15. What kinds of shoes do you usually wear?
= killer pointed shoes, walking shoes, sandals, loafers... i think i have all sorts of shoes except for wedge that you wouldnt see me wear!

16. Hate Saturdays? What is your usual Saturday?
= i like saturdays. saturday is rest day for me. back in manila, i spend it mostly in bed (hehe) but here in helsinki I am in the malls

18. Bands you are very interested to hear out?
= none

19. Have you been watching a movie a few times but you havent finished it completely though you know it's a nice film?
= eternal sunshine of the spotless mind... i know it's a good movie but i fall asleep everytime i watch it

20. Done with the nonsense. Will you marry me?
= nope. i think i know whom i want to marry

Friday, November 25, 2005

Winter in Helsinki

Im leaving for Helsinki on sunday.

Helsinki, here I come!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me!

Im a year older! Thank you to everybody who did not forget my day. =)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

McDonald's here and there

I have recently realized how much I miss McDonald's in Helsinki. For a fact, European's are healthy eaters than Americans. I think they even eat healthier than Asians... Filipinos to be exact. HH and I had some discussions regarding the differences in McDonald's menu in Helsinki from that of the Philippines'. Here are our findings:

1. McDo Helsinki doesn't serve rice meals. They dont even have rice!

2. McDo Helsinki doesn't serve spaghetti. It got me thinking that it was the reason why i always had a hard time choosing my mcdo meal. Here in manila, spaghetti was one of my staple order.

3. McDo Helsinki serves salad with their value meals.

4. They still offer milkshakes for as low as 1.50euros.

5. As counterpart to our rice meals, mcdo in finland offers a variety of sandwhiches such as Bueno El Maco (my favorite!) which comes in chicken and beef varieties, Barbeque burger, etc.

6. I did not find fried chicken in their menu. =(

7. Chicken nuggets come with a variety of sauces. A lot more sauces than our usual barbeque, and sweet and sour sauce in manila.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Friendster Surver #12

Im not in the mood to post something that's hard to think about. My brain's too burnt up by my work. Another busy day for me.

1. What is your occupation?
- IT Consultant

2. What color are your socks?
- black

3. What are you listening to right now?
- Yahoo launchcast...

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
- spaghetti

5. Are you left or right handed?
- righty

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
- purple

7. How is the weather right now?
- hot

8. How old are you today?
- 24

9. Favorite drink?
- water

10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
- F1

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
- yup

12. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
- glasses

13. Pets?
- none

14. Favorite food?
- taho!

15.What was the last movie you watched?
- cant remember

16. Favorite day of the year?
- my bday

17. What do you do to vent anger?
- shout at people

18.What was your favorite toy as a child?
- barbie

19. Fall or Spring?
- spring

20. Hugs or kisses?
- hugs

21. Cherry or Blueberry?
- cherry

22. Do you want your friends to answer this?
- yeah

23. Who is most likely to respond?
- nobody

24. Who is least likely to respond?
- everybody

25. Living arrangements?
- with family. no live-in with bf

26. When was the last time you cried
- last week yata

27. What is on the floor of your closet?
- more clothes

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
- childhood friends

29. What did you do last night?
- doze off

30. Favorite smell?
- d&g light blue

31. What inspires you?
- my plans for myself and my family

32. What are you afraid of?
- losing people i love

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
- cheese

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I can't take this anymore

I dont think there's anything worthwhile to talk about in my blog. My career has been kinda boring for quite a while now. Remember, I used to talk about my upcoming trip for october and then suddenly we lost the project. I was disappointed of course because I was looking forward to that project. I have been eager to go back to Helsinki and stay there over the winter... probably, even spend white christmas this year. Now, I am starting to apply for a job. Ok.. i am overreacting i know! it's just that the work im assigned to do now is not the thing that interests me a lot. I enjoyed doing portal stuff and since we lost the Finland project, i am not doing portal anymore. i am back to my old nokia project... the same project when I started in my company 2 years ago. It sort of bores me... =(

Anyway, my cousin gave birth already last week. We're still not in speaking terms. Honestly, Ive never been this angry at anyone before. I actually hate the feeling of "hating somebody". I just wish things were better.

Friday, October 14, 2005

I miss an old friend

Honesty, i still miss him. After all the pain he caused me, i dont uderstand why I still think about him. I know he's gone for good but I cant stop myself from thinking about him. Dont get me wrong... I am not wishing that we were still together. I just miss the friend I found in him. I miss the very long and great conversations we had. I miss his way of making me laugh at the silliest things. I miss the way he says talaga lang huh while imitating my way of saying the phrase. I miss the times he would stay up so late just to talk to me since I was abroad and have 5 hours time difference. I miss it when he talks about how his secretary reacts whenever i send him text messages and his phone is with his secretary and gets to read my messages. i miss the way he would subtly say i miss you after talking about very serious matters regarding our careers, problems and heartaches. i miss it when he gets so annoyed at me when I tease him or pretend that I am selos or when I am too kulit asking the same question over and over.

i miss you kyle. i miss being your friend. i miss having you as a friend. i miss the best person i can converse with. i know ive said things that have hurt you and i am sorry for that. ill see you someday so that we could continue talking about how we lived our lives. til we see each other again my friend. Til we see each other again...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

She's in town

Last night I got a strange sms from the late architect's cousin. It said she's in manila and asked if wanted to meet her because she's in manila. wtf?! First and foremost, the last time i spoke with her (during a chat after the architect passed away) she was so mad at me and was friggin' accusing me of killing her cousin. Nice noh? Maybe I was an emotional killer but I never killed anybody physically. It just sounds funny because I can clearly recall how much bad things she said to me and then magically it disappears after a few months. I am not mad at her because she's his cousin so I did understand how torn she felt when her cousin left for good. But then how do you expect me to react with her invitation to meet up? Pretend that everything's ok between us just like that? She should have known better that im not that kind of person.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Friendster Surver #11

1. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN LAST WEEKEND?
- saturday was spent at divisoria(bargain shopping!!!) with mom and an aunt. sunday was spent with HH at his house

2. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
- yes

3. HOW DO YOU FEEL AT THIS MOMENT?
- tired and hungry! worst feeling of all!

4. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
- blogging while waiting for my sundo(HH) to pick me up from the office

6. ARE YOU CRAZY ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE?
- i used to but now ive learned my lessons... try to be rational

7. DOES THAT PERSON YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?
- i think so

8. IF YOU WERE TO GO BACK TO THE PAST, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
- i should have seen him when i had the chance to. maybe it could have made a difference.

9. WHAT IF THE PERSON WHOM YOU LOVE HURT YOU RIGHT NOW? WOULD YOU CRY?
- i think so but ill make sure ill get even and make him cry worse

10. WHAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?
- i cant choose... dami!

12. WHAT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF YOU WERE DEPRESSED?
- ice cream, softdrinks, yosi, fresh air

13. EVER HAD FEELINGS FOR ANYONE?
- yes of course

14. WHAT TYPE OF PERSON DO YOU LIKE?
- good conversationalist, someone who's interested in me and my weird life, someone who will put an effort in pleasing me, someone who will understand me

15. HAVE U FOUND THAT TYPE OF PERSON?
- i think so!

16. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO HUG YOU? OR YOU GAVE A HUG TO? HOW DID IT FEEL?
- HH. he made me feel that everything's goin to be alright.

17. WOULD YOU STILL GIVE A CHANCE TO ANY PERSON THAT HAS HURT YOU?
- NO

18. WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO RIGHT NOW?
- home

19. DO YOU HATE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
- maybe... and i dont like the feeling at all

20. DO YOU GO ONLINE EVERYDAY?
- almost everyday

21. ARE YOU FEELING HAPPY RIGHT NOW?
- yes i am. very thankful for the blessings that God continuously showers upon me

22. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
- electric fan and keyboard strokes... i want to go home!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Quick update

my house is quite chaotic. mom's a bit problematic about my other sister. who's such a pain in the a**. bills I have to pay are all going up but my salary isnt getting bigger. ive been doing a lot of shopping lately because i have to get ready for my next departure.

I am supposed to leave next weekend but my boss decided to delay my flight for 2 more weeks because of some urgent matters i have to attend to here in manila. i still need to train one more resource here so that worse comes to worse, we wont get undermanned.

HH and i are doing very well. he's trying to spend lots of time with me because im leaving soon. im enjoying every moment i spend with him. though my next trip would only take me couple of weeks, hh still insist on spending time with me. =)

i still think of him... the guy who broke my heart lots of times but claimed he loved me so much. though he's gone, I still feel bad about him and the painful things he did to me. i havent forgiven him for those things. i still think of him not because i still love him or I still care for him. i think it's more of anger that makes him stay in my mind. i seldom get mad and it will take quite an effort to push me to my limit before getting angry but when I do, it's so hard for me to forgive and to forget. Maybe in time...

Thursday, September 08, 2005

November born

NOVEMBER:
Trustworthy and loyal. Very compassionate and caring. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Very skilled at making love. Has above-average penis(males only). Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty. Playful, secretive. Very emotional and takes a lot to make angry. Meets new people easily. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because theyre one of a kind.

-----

Got that from friendster. It's so funny because it perfectly describes me. Hahaha. HH was reading it and he kept laughing about the 'very skilled at making love' part. He said that that he's got to see. hahaha. Trustworthy and loyal... hmmm... that gave me a bit of a headache. hihi. im not perfect ok?! But I am compassionate and caring. Make that overly caring especially to my family and special people in my life.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Updates about me

Ive neglected my blog for the past how many weeks because i have so much stuff to do at work. Im actually blogging from my office and guess what time it is already?! It's 9:30pm and im still in my little cube waiting for a You-Can-Go-Home-Now-Lets-Finish-This-Tomorrow email from my client. Hayyy.... My head is already spinning from thinking too much the whole day. Im tired... really tired... very tired!

News updates about me...

Few weeks back I met up with my old college friends because one of them is leaving for UK to study his masterals in architecture. Wow! His family is sooooooo rich. I told him to treat me when I visit him in London. Hehehe. Anyway, that friend of mine who's leaving has a bestfriend whom I have a big crush on since college. He was also there at the despedida party. My long lost crush is still as pogi as ever. =D Had a long chat with him during the party. He was very gentleman to entertain us (me & gen) during the party because we barely knew the people there. Bait talga! Kaya ko 'to crush e. Hihi.

Few weeks back, Finnish embassy informed me that I cannot apply for a business visa because I havent completed my 6 months waiting period in between visa applications. I have consumed the maximum 90days stay in EU for the last 5mos. I am technically only allowed to apply again for a business visa in November. Since I am one of the very very few resources who can be sent in helsinki, my company made arrangements. I was asked to apply for a work permit instead of the usual business visa. And then my employer asked for our Finnish client's help so that processing would be a breeze. I think everything was taken cared of. Im just waiting for my visa's release. Im scheduled to leave in a few weeks. Again, im about to witness Nokia's power when it comes to embassy issues. Nokia put Finland back in the globe that's why they're so almighty in the Finnish embassy to the philippines. Hihihi. Hope that everything goes well.

Last week, HH and I went out with his old friends. It's so funny when we talk about the same old stories over again but still end up laughing about it. Signs of growing old! Hahaha.

Im really tired and hungry. im going home in a few minutes.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Friendster Survey #10

1. fave pizza parlor?
~ im not really a big fan of pizza but the best ive eaten so far came from yellow cab

2. fave burger and fries combo?
~ McDo Bueno El Maco Burger... only available in Europe

3. fave chiken recipe and part?
~ fried chicken hot and cripy from KFC... breast part.

4. fave dessert?
~ ice cream, tiramisu, Cantonese kitchen's mango pudding, beard papa's cream puff

5. fave drink to go with your meal?
~ water

6. fave pulutan?
~ yahoo fastfood's liempo

7. fave midnight snack?
~ ice cream

CHILDHOOD.

1. fave memory?
~ nighttime street games with my cousins

2. fave playmates?
~ cousins

3. fave toy?
~ barbie, lutu-lutuan

4. fave outdoor game?
~ patintero, chinese garter

5. mommy or daddy type of kid?
~ pops!

CLOTHING AND STUFF.

1. fave get up?
~ shirt, jeans, walking shoes

2. fave brand of shirt?
~ esprit, mango (sobrang lambot!)

3. fave brand of shoe?
~ none in particular. i keep an open mind with shoe brands. hahaha.

4. fave scent?
~ d&g light blue, victoria's secret colognes

5. fave accessory?
~ earrings

6. fave sleepwear?
~ shirt and boxers

7. fave place to shop clothes?
~ helsinki during change of season sale! online sale!

8. fave makeup?
~ not particular with the brand except for face powder, CoverGirl.

TECH STUFF.

1. fave phone
~ nokia power phones of course!

2. fave tech stuff that you have right now?
~ canon ixus sd500

3. ps2 or xbox?
~ i dont play video games

4. fave gadget that you still don't have and plan to buy in the future?
~ maybe a new sony mp3 player HD5 or a new nokia phone

LAST

1. last food u ate?
~ nissin's yakisoba, pandesal with sausage from punzi

2. last place u went to?
~ pantry

3. last persons u went out with?
~ jayjay

4. last alcoholic beverages u drank?
~ tagaytay overnight, smirnoff ice

5. last mong suot?
~ office clothes... long sleeves and slacks

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

To Let Go Takes Love

Got this from one of my bulletin board messages....

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means that I cant do it if for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I cant control another.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and to live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and to love more.


Letting go is an art. Moving on is a skill. Combined, it's a talent. Hahaha.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Senti Mode

I got this from an email...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Celebrations for August

HH and I celebrated our 4th year anniversary last week. After all the on and offs, we lasted this long. =D Cheers to us and to celebrating more anniversaries together!

HH celebrated his 25th birthday last Aug 7. We went to Tagaytay with his family to visit his Mom's farm there and then we stayed at Days Hotel Tagaytay overnight... just the two of us. Had to catch up with some quality time with HH. =D We went back to Manila the following day.

Mom and Pops celebrated their silver wedding anniversary last Aug 9. They made it! Im so glad they lasted this long together inspite of all those bad things that happened. We gave them a big photo mosaic of the two them as a gift. My sisters made for 2 weeks.

What else? Im looking forward to Pop's 50th birthday on the 26th and Glaf's 4th birthday on the 31st. there are so many things to celebrate this month. I hope I dont gain back the 3months worth of weight i lost in just a month.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I am in manila

Sorry for the late post. I arrived manila friday last week. I havent been blogging for a while now because i just dont feel like sharing what's running inside my head. Things have been quite different here in manila. Here are some of the things i cannot keep my mouth shut and stop ranting about:

1. the weather! It's soooooooo hot here. Going to work every morning seems like an endless burden because im trying my best not to sweat too much while walking a couple of kilometers from where my fx drops me and then going to my office under the blazing morning heat of the sun.

2. the traffic. I will never get used to being trapped in slow moving traffic here in manila! it's so obvious that manila is getting more over populated each day. This gives me more reason to migrate abroad. Hmmm... maybe more women should have one of their ovaries removed just like me so that they'll only have 50% chance of getting pregnant... therefore, decreasing the population by 50%! wooohoooo! hahaha.

3. im bored with my work. well actually, i am not currently assigned to any project. And my wicked operations manager (peace jaime!), assigned me to help the basis (some SAP geek! hihi) guy to install and configure the new netweaver server. I am a programmer and not some system's administrator! It's not in my job description to setup those stuff and im not even qualified to do those stuff! Grrrrrr... it just annoys me because they bombard me with so many reading materials which are so alien to me. Hayyyy.... Boss says it's something nice to put in your resume. I dont really care! I am not a SAP consultant and I am not interested in doing installations and configurations of those stuff.

4. Family issues. this isnt something new. i missed my family so much but when i hear mom and pops arguing and then mom ends up crying, i just forget that i miss them! if the marriage isnt working, id rather they separate than let the kids hear their endless arguments. im getting pissed at how petty the things they fight about. it's so childish! ang hirap talaga magpalaki ng magulang.

5. very high expenses. cost of living here in manila is definitely lower than that of helsinki. im just wondering why i spend more here in manila than in finland considering that im earning more in finland than when im here in manila. quite ironic! last check, my credit card bill is already more than 22k. OMG! the month just started and my cut-off is until the 12th of the month. where the hell did i spend 22k?!

Lessons learned:
1. it's good to shut up. No matter how right you think you are, whatever comes out of your mouth might be used against you.

2. follow the manual to the dot. some people are just stubborn to follow instructions. instructions are already written explicitly and still they dont follow. hmmmm... hard-headed people! if things still dont work out after following instructions to the dot, blame the person who wrote the instructions.hehe.

3. trust is not given for free. it is something you should earn.

4. people can speak of bad things about you and judge you by the way they think of you. whatever they think and say shouldnt matter because they are not the people who are important to you.

5. it's hard to think when youre too emotional. better not say anything until you get your rational side back.

6. i have only few trusted friends. they are the people who will not compromise my trust to them, will not hesitate to tell me if i am wrong, will keep my sanity intact in my moments of depression, will always be there during my triumphs and even in my darkest days.

have to go back to work! =)

Monday, July 25, 2005

Three more days

Im down to the last 3 days of my stay here in helsinki before heading home. Honestly, im not so excited about going home. I have lots of reasons why I dont want to go home. My past weeks here were the most sanity disorienting experience ive ever had in my entire life. I hope it never happens again because i might finally snap off. Here are the reasons why I dont want to go home:

1. My family is in chaos. Not really my atomic family but im referring to my extended family. First my preggy cousin's side who finally decided to lie about the real father of my cousin's kid. Pathetic! Next is another cousin's dad whom they suspect has another woman. That is so alarming!

2. My issues with the architect and his family finally made it's final blow. He passed away last july 17 at the age of 27.(may you rest in peace) he did not make it after his bypass operation. What concerns me is that we had a very very bad argument that friday before he left for good. his family blames me for his death because of that bad argument we had during the time he was trying to recover. I refuse to discuss this issue anymore because I dont think I am ready to talk about him.

3. My preggy cousin and I are not ok. Since we live in the same house, it's so hard to avoid her and act normal when she's around. She placed me in a very uncomfortable situation and I felt so betrayed. The hatred I feel for her is overwhelming that I have decided to finally put her in exile from my life. Hopefully this is not permanent. I am not ready to patch things with her nor am I ready to talk to her. I hate this feeling more than anything else!

i am going through a very tough emotional distress right now. I have always been a person who faces her problems head on. But then, i dont think i am capable of facing these things happening to me now. i wish they will just disappear. i wish things will be better. i already lifted everything to Him. this time, i am not anymore in control over my life.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Friendster Survey #9

1. what do your friends call you?
- my first name

2. is your bestfriend a girl?
- I HAVE BOTH GIRL AND GUY BESTFRIENDS

3. do you wear make-up
- BACK IN MANILA, YES. BUT HERE IN HELSINKI, NOPE.

4. do you wear shoes with high heels?
- BARELY! I HATE WEARING HEELS.

5. do you like wearing dresses?
- NO!

6. do you have short or long hair?
- LONG HAIR!

7. one length or layered?
- LAYERED

8. how long does it take you to fix yourself up?
- RANGES FROM 30MINS TO AN HOUR.

9. do you have a "kikay" kit?
- OF COURSE. HIHI

10. if yes, what's inside?
- MAKE UP, TOOTHBRUSH, TOOTHPASTE, FLOSS, TOOTHPICKS, HAIRCLIPS

11. how long do you take a bath?
- 5MINS TO AN HOUR

12. do you use conditioner?
- YES BUT NOT DAILY.

13. how do you dry your hair?
- ELECTRICFAN DRY

14. what's your usual hairstyle?
- STRAIGHT, PONY TAILED, PUSOD

15. do you panic if you have a pimple?
- NOPE

16. do you often go to the salon?
- YEAH. AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH

17. when was the last time you went to the salon?
- LAST APRIL! GRABE ANG MAHAL NG SALON DITO!

18. what did you do in the salon?
- HAIRCUT, TREATMENT, LEG WAX, MANICURE, PEDICURE

19. have you ever colored your hair?
- CELLOPHANE ONLY

20. relax? rebond? have you tried those?
- NOPE. I HAVE NATURALLY STRAIGHT HAIR

21. do you paint your nails?
- NOPE

22. what's your usual get up?
- JEANS, SHIRT, WALKING SHOES

23. rubber shoes or sandals?
- RUBBER SHOES!

24.how many piercings do you have?
- ONE ON EACH EAR

25. do you go on a diet?
- YES. BUT ALWAYS END UP BREAKING IT. HAHAHA

26. what brand of napkin do u use?
- NONE OF YOUR BIZ... HIHIHI

27. do you have "rituals" before sleeping?
- TAKE A SHOWER, READ BOOK, WATCH TV, PLAY WARCRAFT

28. do you put cucumber on your eyes?
- NOPE

29. do you fix yourself anywhere?
- ONLY AT HOME OR WASHROOM

30. do u stay inside the washroom for a long time?
- DEPENDS

31. do you have lots of crushes and share them with friends?
- NOPE.

32. do you blush whenever you see that specialperson?
- I THINK SO. HIHI

33. what do you look for in a guy?
- SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME. I HAVE ANSWERED THIS QUESTION TONS OF TIMES IN MY OTHER ENTRIES.

34. is it fun being a girl?
- OF COURSE!

35. what do you feel answering this?
- BEING A LADY IS SOMETHING I SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR =)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Friendster Survey #8

1. Would you marry for money?
no

2. Have you had braces?
nope

3. Could you live without a computer?
never

4.If you could live in any past time period when would it be?
i dont think i would like to live in the past

5. Do you drink enough water?
lately, not much

6.Do you wear shoes in the house or take em off?
take them off. wear slippers or usually walk barefoot

7.What are your favorite fruits?
mango, fresh cherries, banana

8. What is your favorite place to visit?
hmmm... im loving helsinki more each day. but id love to visit new places.

9. Are you photogenic?
nope

10. Do you dream in color or black and white?
i dont know. hahaha. i dont pay attention to color while dreaming.

11.Why do you take surveys?
for the sake of having something to do.

12. Do you drink alcohol?
occasionally

13. What is the most beautiful language?
english. the places ive been are english speaking countries.

14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?
hmmm.. how will i know? im asleep! but i would like to wake up by my special someone kissing me. hehe.. sweet!

15. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?
sunset

16. Do you want to live until u get 100 y/o?
i dont like that. i might be too old and sickly. i dont want to be a burden to my family.

17. Is a flat stomach important to you?
yes

19.When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights switched on or off?
lights off

20. Do you believe in magic?
maybe

22. Do you like to watch cartoons?
yeah. i still like watching simpsons, kid notorious, futurama, southpark

23. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
i think around 9-10

24. Do you write poetry?
i used to when i was younger but not anymore... i lost my poetic side

25. Do you snore?
i dont regularly snore. but i think when im too tired and had more than 2days straight of no sleep, i would be snoring na.

26. you sleep more on your back, front,or sides?
front

27. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
poodle

28. Are you basically a happy person?
when im not depressed and at the brink of losing my sanity, yes i am.

29.Are you tired?
right now, no. had too much sleep.

30. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?
nope.

32. How many phones do you have in your house?
in our aptmnt here in helsinki, i think 3 mobile phones and no landline.

33. Do you get along with your parents?
yes

34. Do u smoke?
yes.

36. Do you like/love anyone now?
yes.. very much

37. What do you do when you're sad?
take a walk, stare at the sea, smoke, talk to somebody, go shopping

38. What you need most now?
a loving hug from HH

39. What song you listenin to now?
mp3's HH sent me yesterday

40. What are you craving for?
a kiss and a hug from HH

Monday, July 11, 2005

My New Addiction

Ive been marathoning Smallville since yesterday. It's really a marathon! From 8:30am to midnight. hahaha. My boss introduced me to this winamp internet tv. it airs all the seasons of Smallville. Im falling in love with Tom Welling each hour. hahaha.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

What do I really want in my life?

I went out again. I was not supposed to go out today but something in me told me that i needed a walk and fresh air. And so I went to malmi. It's still somewhere in helsinki but far from the city center. It's somewhere in the suburbs of helsinki. As always, i went to the mall. Walking for me equates to going to malls. hahaha. I didnt actually buy anything special. I was there to windowshop and to think.

What do I really want in my life?

I admit there was a point in my life that i was willing to embrace the kind of life that the architect wanted to offer me... being a housewife, take care of his 3 kids, live in cebu, maybe have more kids, eventually study again and put up my own business. That was the kind of life that for a time I looked forward to until it suddenly disappeared. I am amazed at how things can change so fast because of just a single incident. I got disappointed because I am a person who plans ahead and it pains me when my plans dont get executed.

Back again to the question, what do i really want in my life? Definitely, I want a normal life. Normal life means there wont be any complications with my family and with my future husband's family when we finally decide to get married. I dont like exes meddling with our affairs anymore. Before we decide to get married, I want us to make sure that we dont have hangups with our exes so there wont be issues to deal with when we're already together. Financially, both of us should be earning. If my future husband wont be earning more than what i am earning, then he should be willing to accept that and wont argue with me about it in the future. No matter how rich he is, he cant stop me from working... well maybe stop for a while when i give birth and when our baby is still too young. But still, i will have my career back. I want to live abroad. It's not that i dont like the philippines. I just want to get a taste of life outside of the philippines. It doesnt mean we will live there for the rest of our lives. I just want to try it maybe for a couple of years. And that is something my husband should be supportive about. what else? hmmm.. i cant think of anything else.

Btw, spoke with my ninang from the US last monday. She was asking me if I want the programming job in the US that she's offering. Hmm... I havent decided yet. Im not even taking it seriously because that means ill have to migrate to the US. I dont think im ready now to migrate... much more in the US! US is actually my last choice of country to migrate to. Europe is still on top of my list. I asked HH about it and of course, he had violent reaction. Ill have to think about it and make a decision soon though.

Im also thinking of moving out of my parent's house in manila. I dont know.. I just suddenly thought of being independent. hmmm... maybe after 3 more trips here in helsinki so that i can save enough to buy my furnitures when I move out.

Hayyy... 3 weeks to go before coming home. Yehey! I am excited to be home. =)

Friday, July 08, 2005

Ive accomplished 4 out of 7

Almost 3 months ago, i posted a list of the things i would like to accomplish during my 3 months stay here in helsinki. im posting it again to check which ones ive accomplished.

1. Visit Helsinki zoo --- Last year I planned to go there but unluckily, I got sick during my scheduled week to go there.

Ive accomplished this last month before punzi left for manila. We went to the zoo with cheng and joseph(accenture peeps). Bad thing was we went there around 7pm already so some of the animals were already asleep. =(

3. Save at least 100k from my per diem --- I was able to save as much last year, I think i can save more this year because im staying here longer. Not unless i will be on shopping spree again. Hahaha.

As of today, my SA balance is more than 100k so I guess ive saved enough! Woohoo! i still have 3 more weeks worth of per diems and my salary which i dont really spend here. And for the record, i also did lots of shopping here. hahaha.

5. Buy new walking shoes --- I know i shouldnt put this in my list because i would do shopping for sure. Hahaha.

I bought one already during my 2nd week here in helsinki. hihihi. I just cant resist buying walking shoes here. =D

6. Visit some other mall in Finland --- Ive heard that the farther you go from the main city, which is Helsinki, the cheaper the commodities are. Maybe I'll try going to the suburbs and do my shopping in the malls there.

Ive been to Tapiola malls and Iso Omena. Those are the malls in Espoo, Finland. Honestly, i didnt like the malls that much because it was too small and sale isnt that great either.

I still have 3 things to accomplish in my list. im not so sure if i will be able to accomplish them. =( But nonetheless, at least ive done majority of it. 4 out of 7! not bad!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

To the architect

I dont know if you will still be able to read this. I just want to tell you a couple of things that i realized since the day we finally decided to let each other go.

thank you. thank you for all the things we've shared with each other. my life will never be the same without you. and i really mean it. i know we've had so many rollercoaster rides during the past 6 years. i may not have been the perfect girlfriend or even a perfect friend to you but i want you to know that i did my best. sorry for all the hurtful words and offensive actions ive made towards you. for all it's worth, im really sorry.

i think this is the best decision we've made for ourselves. thank you for making things easier for me to bear. i hope that you are doing good yourself. i hope that one day when we finally see each other, we can just smile and laugh at the past. I will look forward to that day, kyle. i believe that we can both move on and be good friends in the future.

i am doing pretty much ok. HH and i are doing really good lately. You're right, he can make me happy. ive never been more appreciative of the things he does for me than now. he can take good care of me. i am perfectly in good hands. I hope you find the woman who will not hurt you and will make you happy. open your eyes. sometimes, we get blinded and fail to see this right person because theyre too close to us and get overlooked at. it will make me happier if you find your happiness too...

you take care. goodluck to both of us. god bless you.

your friend,
me

Friday, July 01, 2005

Friendster Survey #7

1.What do you think of courtship?
>>> honestly, i dont believe in courtship. it's putting the guy's best feet forward so i dont see anything good about it because when youre into a relationship, things arent the same anymore. id rather get to know the guy while we are into a relationship and if things work, then fine. if it doesnt, then break up.

2.Do you believe that friends can be lovers, but lovers can never be friends?
>>> nope. i am good friends with my first ex.

3.Do you believe that you can learn to love someone even if you dont really love that person?
>>> i dont know really. ask me again after 2 years if my relationship with somebody right now will work.

4.Who is your ideal partner?
>>> ive got a long list really... probably ill just write a separate blog about it.

5.Have you met your soulmate?
>>> maybe. i dont know. sana ive met him na because i dont want to meet a new person who will end up hurting me again. i guess ive had enough na.

6. Is it true that love fades or it just lessens?
>>> i dont think it fades nor lessens. it just develops to another kind of love just like platonic or friendship.

7.Have you really let go of someone?
>>> yeah. i guess so... with ex #1. it took me a while though.

8..How many bfs/gfs have you had?
>>> 3

9.Are you always serious when it comes to relationships?
>>> all serious!

10.Which one do you prefer, friendship or relationship?
>>> i am in a relationship. i guess ill choose relationship. hihi

11.Why?
>>> the person im with now knows how to take care of me, appreciates that i am with him, he shows me that he needs me, would want to spend the rest of his life with me, loves being with me, loves to make me happy. should i ask for more?

12. Have you fallen in love with your bestfriend?
>>> yeah. ex#1. we're still good friends now even if

13. Have you fallen in love with someone you regret on loving?
>>> no. when you love someone, you should never regret loving them even if theyve hurt you. loving is all about taking risks. if love is true, it is always worth the pain.

14. if yes, why do you regret?
>>> ....

15. Are you in a serious/fling relationship right now or just plain single?
>>> serious relationship

16.Are you a player?
>>> not anymore. will never be one again

17.Are you serious with your relationship?
>>> yes

18.Are you a martyr?
>>> i think i still am.. hahaha

19.Do you believe in marriage first before living in or vice-versa?
>>> yes. but at times i still feel scared talking about marriage

20.Why?
>>> i think women are more prone to abuses if they go on a live-in arrangement. walang habol ang babae dun sa guy.

21.Are you a still say yes person or a no,no, no when it comes to reconciliation with any of your exs?
>>> i dont know, honestly. will cross the bridge when i get there.

22.Do you look ahead to your future or do you look behind to your past?
>>> i try to look at the future. past is past. let it go.

23.Why do you think most relationships dont last?
>>> because of incompatibility and probably not the right circumstance and place.

24.Do you really think love can conquer all?
>>> yes

25.Whats your motto when it comes to love?
>>> love like there's no tomorrow.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Friendster Survey #6

1. what kind of first impression do you think people say when they first see you?
*** sungit, serious

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
*** study

3. what is your favorite line to say when your drunk?
*** im not drunk! hahaha.

5. how many drinks before you're tipsy?
*** a shot of tequila/vodka or a bottle of beer

6. did you ever have to beg?
*** yes.. lots of times

7. what kind of books do you like to read?
*** fiction, textbooks (geek talaga!)

8. do you think you're cute?
*** gorgeous! hahaha

9. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
*** sometimes

10. favorite communication method?
*** email/chat

11. do you care?
*** about what?

12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
*** most of the time, icecream!

13. describe your bed?
*** single bed with 3 pillows and a comforter

14. spontaneous or planned?
*** planned but i dont mind if things become spontaneous

15. do you know how to play poker?
*** learning! im still not good at it.

16. what do you carry with you at all time?
*** phone, wallet

17. what do you miss most about being little?
*** having a less complicated life

18. are you happy with your given name?
*** yeah

19. how much would it take to give up the internet for 1 year?
*** priceless! i cannot live without internet... maybe for a day or two but cant be more than that!

21. have you ever been in a play?
*** yes. lots of times esp. in highschool

22. do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
*** yes. i have to believe in myself

23. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
*** nope. im annoyed at the government because they allow these people to suffer

24. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
*** yes. i think i am nice. hihi

25. do you spend more time with your family or your friends?
*** since im far from home, i spend more time with my workmates! hahaha

26. what's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
*** come home to manila asap

27. what is your ideal marriage location?
*** church

28. whats one instrument you wish you could play?
*** violin

29. something you love and hate?
*** my recent ex

30. whats one language you want to learn?
*** french!

31. what do you order at a bar?
*** smirnoff ice

32. have you ever pierced your body parts?
*** one in each ear

33. do you have any tattoos?
*** nope

34. would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted?
*** yes. why not

35. whats one trait you hate in a person?
*** people who lie

36. do you consider yourself materialistic?
*** sometimes i am

37. what do you cook best?
*** hmmm.. parang adobo yata. better ask my flatmates!

38. do you cry in front of your friends?
*** yes when i have to

39. describe yourself..
*** a workaholic at a young age, denies being an OC, loves too much, so driven by ambition and future plans, loves travelling but hates to be far from home for a long time, i believe in God above, i believe in romance, holding hands, saying iloveyou everyday and showing affection, i will travel miles for good food and gorgeous shoes, ive had failures, wrong decisions and shortcomings but I always stand up and learn from mistakes. my family and loved ones keep me going.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Notebook


What Chick Flick is just like Your Life?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as The Notebook. You have strong, passionate love like the notebook!

This is so me

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Who's the True You?

Got this from gary's blog.. thanks gar!

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.
You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

Sparktest Personality Test

You are an Accountant!(Submissive Introverted Concrete Thinker)
You are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)— reserved, meticulous, and dependable. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you.
There are basically two kinds of accountants, and you most likely fit into one of the two categories:
male
female

Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family.

Take the exam...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Someday i'll be over you

Song of the moment: I'll be over you (Toto)
Feeling: Sober

I went to another party early this evening. It was a celebration for the successful delivery of the project that we were working on for the past two months. We went to a bar called Belge in the helsinki central district. As its name suggests, it's a Belgian bar... one of the most popular bars here in helsinki. Since it's a weeknight, it's not as jampacked as it used to be on friday nights.

Last week and the week before that, i was on this same bar. Hmmm... im getting used to taking my weekly doze of alcohol! this sounds bad huh?! Ok, ok... this is not at all connected to my latest heartbreak! defensive eh?! hahaha. it just so happened that ive been attending so many celebrations lately. i dont even remember why i was always going to parties when in fact, there's no reason to party! i still have so much work to do and im not even done with the whole project. i dont think i deserve any celebration.

i just finished connecting and tinkering with our brand new cable modem! wooohooo! we had to get a new internet subscription since my canadian flatmate, who originally owned the old internet subscription, is leaving helsinki on thursday. how sad... My helsinki experience will never be the same without him. to chad... may you have a nice life back in canada and may i see you again soon! ill surely miss you. but i wont miss running after your filth in the apartment. hahaha.

ive been answering too much friendster surveys lately that i dont seem to make a real blog anymore. this is because im not so in the mood to write something... or should i say im just refraining from writing something about the architect. yes i still think about him but im trying not to. we havent been talking for days now... my weekend was architect free! that's a big change actually. i usually spend my weekends in front of my laptop talking to him. but the last weekend, i still spent it in front of my laptop but i wasnt talking to him... i was working!

I am enjoying my life... i am trying to enjoy may last 5 weeks here in helsinki. i dont know when i am going to go back here... hopefully not so soon. i have this strong feeling that i will be back here in a couple of months because i think we'll get the big nokia ep project! woohoo! so lucky for me to get involved in a big project such as this because this is sort of the break that i have been waiting. i hope we really get this project.

life isnt perfect... we cant have it all. maybe that's the reason why i cant have the architect and a great career at the same time. but nevertheless, i am still thankful for God's blessings. things happen for a reason so maybe in time ill find out why He took the architect away from me. A part of me is ok na after our break up. Im not as crazy about him unlike 2 weeks ago. I cant say im depressed because i dont feel depressed anymore. Maybe HH also has something to do with it. It's just that i try to look at the brighter side of the bad things that happened. I know i will not get over him overnight. I know it might take me a while to completely let go of my feelings for him. I just hope he doesnt give me reasons to make me fall in love with him while im in the process of healing myself from all the heartaches he caused me.

change topic... i will be going to my accenture friend's apartment on thursday for their despedida party. they're flying back to manila on saturday. waaaaaaahhhh! everybody's going home. Jaime and I are the only pinoys left here! did i see the word party??? oh my! another drinking spree coming!

I need to go to bed now. Lots of work to do tomorrow. Nyt!

Friendster Survey #5

CU R R E N T-
[ Clothes ] office clothes... longsleeves & slacks
[ Mood ] sober
[ Music] visions of a sunset
[ Taste ] minty... from the gum i ate
[ Make-up ] none
[ Hair ] long, straight, ponytailed
[ Smell ] victoria's secret
[ Desktop Picture ] kimi raikkonen
[ Book Reading ] none at the moment
[ CD in Player] none
[ DVD in player] none
[ Color Of Toenails ] natural... havent had pedicure for the last 2months
[ Refreshment ] just had a bottle of smirnoff ice
[ Worry ] has my sister paid my bills?

-L A S T. P E R S O N-
[ You Touched ] myself
[ You Talked to ] jaime
[ You Hugged ] chad
[ You Instant messaged ] HH
[ You Yelled At ] none
[ You Kissed ] HH

-F A V O R I T E-
[ Food ] taho, pasta, shrimps
[ Drink ] water
[ Colors ] white, black, purple
[ Album ] no particular album
[ Shoes ] pointed shoes
[Candy ] jolly rancher green apple flavor
[ Animal ] dog but i cant have a pet for some reasons
[ TV Show ] csi!
[ Movie ] coyote ugly
[ Song ] heaven is in your eyes
[ Vegetable ] mushrooms
[ Cartoon ] pooh

-A R E .Y O U.-
[ Understanding ] i believe i am... ask my bf
[ Open-minded ] yes
[ Arrogant ] i hope not
[ Insecure ] at times i am
[ Interesting ] maybe
[ Random ] yes
[ Hungry ] yeah
[ Friendly ] hmmm... i try to be
[ Smart ] i guess so
[ Moody ] yes.. very much!
[ Childish ] at times
[ Independent ] i am
[ Hard working ] absolutely!
[ Organized ] yes
[ Healthy ] i hope i am
[ Emotionally Stable ] oh no!
[ Difficult ] at times yes
[ Attractive ] i hope!
[ Bored Easily ] sometimes
[ Messy ] nope!
[ Thirsty ] no
[ Responsible ] yes
[ Obsessed ] i think so
[ Angry ] not at the moment
[ Sad ] yes
[ Happy] maybe
[ Hyper ] when i am recharged
[ Trusting ] yes

-W H O .D O .Y O U .W A N T .T O-
[ Slap ] him
[ Hug ] him also... tsk tsk tsk
[ Get High With ] none
[ Look Like ] nobody.. i want to be unique
[ Talk To Offline ] my family
[ Talk To Online ] him

-W H O-
[makes u laugh the most?] right now, it's HH
[makes you smile] that guy who broke my heart too many times
[gives u a funny feeling at sight] arto
[do you have a crush on?] arto... he's the nokian guy i have a big crush on...hehehe
[has a crush on you?] wala. sigh.
[is easiest to talk to] HH

-W I L L. Y O U .E V E R-
[wait all night for sum1 special to I.M. you] definitely!
[save I.M. conversations] believe it or not... i do!
[wish u were of the opposite sex] nope!
[cried because of what someone said to you] yes... lots of times

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend] yes... back in college days. my first bf was my guy bestfriend
[rejected] yes
[been cheated on] i dont know.. maybe!
[done something you regret] yes

-D O .Y O U -
[could you live without the computer?] nope! absolutely, definitely not at all!
[color your hair] i had cellophane but never the real coloring
[ever get off the damn computer] yes... when it's bedtime
[drink alchohol?] yes... but it only takes me a bottle of beer to get me tipsy...hahaha
[like watching the sun rise/set] yes
[get involved with after school stuff] yes
[make a fool out of yourself often?] at least i try not to.

-N U M B E R .O F-
[Times u had your heart broken] too many times i cant even count
[hearts u've broken] have i broken someone's heart? i dont know... i always end up more broken than my exes!
[close friends i have] less than 10
[CDs i own] a lot
[scars on my body] several

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Friendster Survey #4

1.like to walk under the rain?
-- yes... but my lolananay always scolds me when i do it.

2.Sleep with or without clothes on?
-- with... i dont feel comfy without clothes

3.Prefer black or blue pens?
-- black... but really, it doesnt matter. whatever is within reach

4. dress up on Halloween?
-- no

5.Like to travel ?
-- absolutely!

6.Like someone?
-- very much

7.Do he/she know?
-- he does. but the feeling isnt mutual.

8.cute ba cya?
-- of course!

9.Think you're attractive?
-- hahaha.

10.Want to marry?
-- honestly, i dont know. something in me wants to walk down the aisle but i dont know if im destined to ever be married.

11.Who?
-- him.. the guy who broke my heart too many times but i still love him.

12.Alaska or Hawaii?
-- Hawaii

13.Are you a good student?
-- i believe so

14.Are you currently in a relationship?
-- yes... very much

15.Are you involved in sports?
-- does watching equates to involvement? hahaha. i love watching F1.

16.Christmas or Halloween?
-- Christmas

17.Colored or black-and-white photo?
-- colored

18.Do long distance relationships work?
-- it depends. mine worked for a while and then it ended but not because it was a long distance relationship... we broke up for a different reason.

19.Do you believe in astrology?
-- i dont know... maybe

20. Do you believe in GoD?
-- absolutely!

21.Do you believe in love at first sight?
-- no

22.Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
-- no

23.Are u an outgoing person?
-- yeah i guess so

24.Do you have a job?
-- yes

25.Do you make fun of people?
-- sometimes

26.Do you think dreams eventually come true?
-- I believe

27.Fave things to do?
-- seeing new places, shopping til my feet ache, walk a long mile for great food, see movies even if im so tired from work, have a good cup of coffee with cigarettes

30.Chocolates or Candy?
-- candy

31.Fave. person?
-- my partner

32.Favorite body part of the opposite sex?
-- lips and eyes

33.Favorite food?
-- taho, pasta, shrimps

34.Go to the movies or rent?
-- movies

35.How's the weather right now?
-- we still have sunshine at 9pm, cool breeze, very very nice weather!

38.Hug or kiss?
-- hug

39.Last person you talked to on the phone?
-- carlos... he called yesterday

40.Last time you showered?
-- This morning

41.Loud or soft music?
-- definitely soft!

42.McDonalds or Burger King?
-- BK

43.More romantic.. baths or shower?
-- baths

44.Night or day?
-- night..

45.Number of pillows on ur bed?
-- 3 big ones

46.Piano or guitar?
-- guitar... easier to carry anywhere

47.Read or write?
-- read

48.Single or taken?
-- very much taken

49.Snow or water?
-- snow

50.What are you going to do tomorrow?
-- work work work!

51.what clothes are you wearing?
-- shirt and boxers

52.What do you drink?
-- water

53.What's ur wallpaper on your computer?
-- kimi raikkonen!!!!

54.What's right next to you?
-- my luggage

55.What's your bedtime?
-- usually, 1am

56. What can u say to the person who hurt you the most?
-- thank you for being strong for both of us. you know so well that i am not capable of letting you go just like that. thank you because you gave me now a reason to accept things that i cannot change. i am still hurt but i know this will pass. i wish for your happiness. i wish you good health. may God always bless you. you take care.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Ouch! It hit me

I love you so much it hurts...
but, the pain is what keeps my heart beating...
loving you is my reason for waking up in the morning...
because it will be another chance to see you...
it’s my reason to sleep at night hoping that in my dreams...
even if it’s only in my dreams that we will be together...

how can you assume to be friends with someone when all you think about when you look at him is how much more you really want? The farthest distance is not separated by life and death nor by the place, but when i stand in front of you and you dont know that i love you...

yep... im still awake. someone must be thinking of me that's why i cant sleep! waaaaahhh! please lang kung sino ka man, patulugin mo na ko.

Mid-summer at Helsinki

It was mid-summer holiday here in helsinki yesterday. So that means i didnt have work but i still worked from home. what a way of spending a holiday!

During mid-summer here, daylight is non-stop... even until 11pm. Hmm.. i think i will be having a hard time sleeping again tonight because my room is by the window and it's still so bright even if it's close to midnight. Weather is at its best since i came here 1st of may. bright skies... warmth from the sun... a bit of cool breeze... hayyy.... wish it's like this back in the philippines!

im doing so much better. thank you Lord for giving me strength to let him go. Looking forward to going home in less than 5weeks. Yipeeee!!!

My testimonial for HH...

je serai toujours reconnaissant que Dieu nous a réuni. Je sais que j'ai mes imperfections en tant que votre petite amie mais j'essayerai certainement mon plus dur pour être quelqu'un qui mérite une personne merveilleuse telle que vous je t'aime.

Translation:
i will always be thankful that God brought us together. I know I have my shortcomings as your girlfriend but i will definitely try my hardest to be someone who deserves such a wonderful person as you. i love you.

Friendster Survey #4

1. After office, makikita mo ko sa...
-- back in manila, you'll see me in a coffeeshop or a resto. here in helsinki, after office, i go straight home.

2. Where do you usually hang-out?
-- most of the time im in glorietta or greenbelt. makati malls are so accessible from my office.

3. Nakatapak ka na ba ng bubble gum or poopoo sa kalye?
-- yup! hahaha

4. Last movie you saw?
-- Mr & Mrs Smith

5. Most expensive object you bought with your own money?
-- vacation trip to sweden

6. Kung papipiliin ka, YOSI o BEER?
-- yosi... marlboro lights or dunhill lights

7. They say "you are who you hang out with"
-- i dont know. i have a lot of sets of friends. they're all unique i must say.

8. Have you ever fallen in-love with a friend?
-- yes. and i promised myself never to repeat it

9. What would you do if you caught your guy/girl & bestfriend sleeping together?
-- are they naked? my bestfriend is married so she's in a really big trouble. my bf on the otherhand will be dealt with in a not so nice way.

10. Any pets? What are their names?
-- none at the moment

11. May nasuntok ka na ba?
-- meron

12. Anung sabi nung sinuntok mo?
-- wala. umiyak lang

13. Which do u prefer, Jollibee or McDo?
-- jollibee

14. Wendy's or KFC?
-- wendy's

15. Ever broken someone's heart?
-- i think so. but my heart gets more broken than them.

16. Ever had your heart broken?
-- yes. lots of times. im thinking i should be numb by now!

19. What did you do to the person who broke your heart?
-- Still trying to let him go.

20. What's inside your pocket?
-- nothing

21. Fave past time?
-- watch movies, dine out, have coffee and smoke, talk with friends

22. Biggest regret in life?
-- spending years drooling over someone who doesnt love me anyway

23. Worst experience you've been through?
-- being away from home, having to worry about losing someone and not being able to do anything but cry

24. Best place you'd rather be?
-- anywhere near my loved ones

25. Would you kiss on a first date?
-- tradition says no. but it depends who i am dating... if it's brad pitt, who would resist a first kiss on a first date right?

26. Last time you cried?
-- early this week. cried myself to sleep.

27. Most embarassing thing you did for love?
-- push myself to him and he did not want me na pala.

28. In love right now?
-- i would like to believe that i am

29. Is someone in-love with u?
-- i hope! hahaha

30. Describe the kind of love for your significant one
-- unconditional

Friday, June 24, 2005

My EQ

Your EQ is
133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

HH's Friendster Survey #1

I was so surprised to find this in friendster. I didnt know that my bf has been visiting friendster quite often lately. I wonder why?! Spying on me? hahaha. Im really surprised he posted something in the Bulletin Board with my name written on it! he's been acting pretty weird lately. I think i must talk to him. my comments are in all caps.hihi

Date: Wednesday, June 22, 2005 15:02:00
Subject: close to nothing
Message:
1.SONG PLAYING AT THE MOMENT?
* fallen by sarah mclachlan

2.ONE REASON FOR LIVING?
* to ........love loved ones and to eat the best foie gras in bordoux. <-- OOOOOOHHHHH

3.DO YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER IS SEXY?
* hotter than a convection oven baby....and she knows that. <-- OF COURSE I DONT KNOW THAT! UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER PARTNER!

4.EVER DONATED BLOOD?
* nah.....i have too much oil in my blood.

5.FAVE COLOR(s)?
* black, white, grey and red

6.ACCESSORIES YOU USUALLY WEAR?
* is a chef's jacket legal? <--- I DONT THINK IT'S COUNTED AS AN ACCESSORY HUN!

7.ONE SONG TO DESCRIBE A HEARTBREAK IN THE PAST?
* invisible man - 98 degrees

8.LAST PLACE YOU WENT?
* bangkok, thailand

9.LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT WITH?
* my best friend karl rey manalo (dude, i owe you one...... BIG TIME!!!) <-- THANK YOU KARL FOR KEEPING MY HH BUSY WHILE I AM AWAY!

10.THE MOST BORING SPORT?
* dami, there is cricket, golf, polo & chess.

11.EVER HAD A BABY?
* i hope in the near future, right now si *insert my name here* lang baby ko. <-- AWWWW. HOW SWEET!

12.LAST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN?
* batman begins by christian bale. <-- WAAAAAA! YOU WATCHED IT WITHOUT ME??!

13. ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOO?
* wish lang, sana sa nose or sa lower lip. <-- I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEE ME IF YOU HAVE THESE PIERCINGS!

14.THE MOST ROMANTIC GIFT?
* the small memory jar *insert my name here* gave me. <-- WOW! HE REMEMBERED! FYI, IT'S A SMALL JAR WITH TINY PIECES OF PAPER. EACH PIECE HAS SOMETHING WRITTEN ON IT... THINGS THAT I REMEMBER ABOUT HIM, THINGS WEVE DONE TOGETHER, THINGS THAT I WANT TO DO WITH HIM IN THE FUTURE, THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HIM. IM SO SWEET! HAHAHA.

15.ACTED ON STAGE BEFORE?
* a lot , elementary, HS, college. <-- EVEN WHEN I WAS IN MANILA.. HE ACTS PRETTY GOOD IN FRONT OF ME. HAHAHA.

16.STRUCK BY LIGHTNING BEFORE?
* i've been electrocuted before but not lightning.

17.DANCED WITH YOUR LOVED ONE BEFORE?
* once. <-- AKO BA ITO? PARANG HINDI YATA

18.EVER WISHED YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME? WHEN?
* yes, i want to correct my mistakes, but i think its ok not to.

19.WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOKE UP ONE DAY TO FIND YOURSELF TO BE SOMEONE FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX?
* hmmmmmm......a tricky question, maybe ill screw her again in the ass ahhahahah,
kidding......of course i'll be surprised and confused and ask my self "how the hell did i end up with this b*tch?"

20.ONE SONG THAT'S MEANINGFUL TO YOU?
* do you remember love? - lyn min may

21.LAST PERSON YOU MET FOR THE FIRST TIME?
* si ms. karen quiambao of batch 10 ng CACS

22.WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING TOMORROW?
* cook for the salad day. <-- THERE GOES MY CHEF!

23.WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE F4 MEMBER?
* none of them,but i like the girl who played yesha. <-- AHA! I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE! THAT'S WHY YOU WANTED TO BORROW MY METEOR GARDEN PART 2 HUH?!

24.ONE THING YOU TOTALLY REGRET DOING?
* screwing up my life.

25.DO PEOPLE LIKE YOU?
* seriously........NO. <-- I LIKE YOU!

26.WHAT WAS THE LAST GAME YOU PLAYED IN THE COMPUTER?
* gundam century.

27.SOMEONE WHO MEANS A LOT TO YOU AT THE MOMENT?
* insert my name here =* <--WOW! IT'S ME! IT'S ME! HIHI

28.THE COLOR OF YOUR MOBILE PHONE?
* white and grey. <-- THIS PHONE SHOULD BE THROWN AWAY NA! HUN YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR PHONE PRETTY SOON!

29. DO YOU HATE SOMEONE AT THE MOMENT?
* yes i do hate someone right now....dalawa sila, yung isa si ****** yung isa naman eh si ******, you figure it out. <-- HMMMM... SINO TO?!

30. WHAT DO YOU WISH TO HAPPEN NOW?
* 2 important things.......get a new PC and get **** ahhahahahaha <-- GET LAID?! BAD KA AH!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Friendster Survey #3

1.your worst nickname
-- i cant think of any

2.fave thing to do at a party
-- eat! hahaha

3.fave outfit
-- shirt, pants, walking shoes

4.hatest song
-- any music that hurt my ears

5.i hate it when....
-- someone lies to me, insults me, my plans dont get executed

6.fave sport
-- volleyball, billiards, table tennis

7.favorite expression
-- omg

8.most dramatic thing you've done
-- ay naku wag na! madami akong moments na ganyan

9.i want...
-- to be an architect. but if i wont have the opportunity anymore, i might settle in being a java architect. hehehe. i want to be filthy rich so that i can help more people in need. to go home in manila na!

10.fave website
-- google, yahoo, sdn.sap.com

11.worst drink youve had
-- salmiyaki! it tastes as bad as it sounds! hahaha

12.worst odor you've smellled
-- awful stench of some finns here. grabe! ang lakas sobra!

13.worst kind of person
-- someone who refuses to be happy and be loved

14.your ticklish spot
-- haha... ask my bf

15.where you wanna go ryt now
-- home =(

16.i feel like eating....
-- taho!

17.worst excuse you've ever heard
-- im leaving you because i love you so much! wtf!

18.fave simpsons character
-- lisa simpson

19.ym or msn..?
-- YM

20.fave fresh fruit shake
-- mango kiwi

21.worst fruit
-- durian... i cant stand the smell

22.worst scar
-- my incision area in the tummy. parang nanganak na!

23.will&grace or friends..?
-- friends

24.dream life...
-- great career, great family, great house, nice car, go to work only when i want to, earn money even if im vacationing

25.sh*t or cr*p..?
-- sus!

26.lamb or steak?
-- steak

27.pink w/ brown OR pink w/ blue..?
-- pink with brown

28.converse Or adidas..?
-- adidas

29.fave bottomless drink
-- water

30.a billion $s or happiness
-- happiness

31. time u spend online?
-- almost 24-7

32.gatorade or ice-tea..?
-- water!

33.dream guy/girl
-- him

34. fave place to shop
-- anywhere with sale

35.madonna or britney
-- madonna

36.fave american idol
-- carrie

37. fave thing to do?
-- anything as long as im with my loved ones

38.worst actress
-- hmmm.... bold stars

39.spongebob or patrick?
-- spongebob

40.pasta or pizza?
-- pasta!

41.fave nail polish color
-- i dont put on one

42.fave tv channel
-- lifestyle channel, food network, hbo

43.fave piece of jewelry
-- earrings

44.fave ice cream flavor
-- vanilla

45.beyonce or j-lo?
-- neither

46.be a ghost or be an angel?
-- angel

47.left or right handed?
-- righty

48.champorado or champola?
-- ummm.. champola

49.cellphone or iPOD?
-- cellphone! di ako matatawagan ng client ko sa iPod. hahaha

50.answer another survey or is this the last survey for today?
-- sana last na! but im still bored. might try to answer another one. hehehe

Friendster Survey #2

1. For you, traveling is:
~ freedom!

2. Do you believe in soul mates?
~ yes. i want to believe that ive already found him.

3. How do you feel today?
~ tired from work.

4. Do you watch what you eat?
~ not much... sometimes when i feel so heavy na. hahaha.

5. Would you rather: Get married to the wrong person or Be single for the rest of your life?
~ be single and have kids. hahaha

6. Are you your own biggest critic?
~ yes. i guess that's the only way you can do better each time.

7. The most important quality to you is: Loyalty or Trust
~ trust

8. Do you like surprises?
~ not really. im an OC planner.

9. Serious or funny girl/guy?
~ funny. my life is too serious already. i need someone to make me laugh.

10. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ___ of them all?
~ most annoying

11. How do you feel if you see people suffering on the news?
~ sad and mad esp. when it's the government's fault

12. What would you rather be?
~ an architect or probably a chef

13. Do you hold grudges?
~ i would want to believe no.

14. (Complete the sentence) You and your friends are most likely to start a/an:
~ chaos!

15. Are you a good listener?
~ i think so.

16. Who makes you laugh?
~ someone, my workmates, bes

17. Worst thing youve ever done?
~ push myself to someone who doesnt want me anymore.

18. Be honest. Ever been called a liar?
~ yeah. when my parents caught me going somewhere without asking for permission.

19. Be honest. Ever been called a brat?
~ nope! never.

20. Where are you going tom?
~ probably suomelinna island again to meditate. haha. just kidding. i need a break from work and tomorrow's a holiday here.

21. Is life more enjoyable when you have a consistent routine?
~ nope. i like doing something new each time. i like living my days as if it were my last.

22. Do you have to see it to believe it?
~ not always.

23. Is being more successful than your friends important to you?
~ nope. im happy for my friends if they are more successful than i am.

24. How long does it take to make yourself look good every morning?
~ minimum of an hour!

25. Do you think with your heart or head?
~ used to think with my heart. but ive been hurt too many times already. another one might kill me na so im trying to use my head now!

26. Are you a shop-a-holic?
~ no... hahaha. in denial!

27. Do you only buy expensive stuffs?
~ sometimes... when my budget permits me to. but most of the time no.. im so kuripot!

28. What was the most useless expensive item youve got?
~ i cant think of any! i make the most out of the expensive stuff i buy since i seldom buy them!

29. Do you eat your vegetables?
~ i choose which veggies to eat

30. What are you craving for right this very moment?
~ taho!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I love answering these...

1.what images come to your mind wen u are asked bout ur childhud?
+ playing with my cousins in our street... patintero, habulan, etc.

2. if evry1 had 2 pick a new name wat wud b urs?
+ same name i have now...

3. describe ur dream vacation
+ euro tour... very much away from work!

4. wat wud u do if u suddenly found out u were an heir to a royal family's fortune,but wud have 2 relocate 2 another country 2 acquire it?
+ nice! i dont mind as long as i can travel back to PI anytime

5. a mad scientist is goin 2 switch ol ur body parts xcept 1,which body part wil u choose 2 kip?
+ my brain... i have too much good memories that i would want to keep

6. if u had a million dollars wat wud u spend it on?
+ treat my family to a vacation abroad, shopping, investments, give to the charities

7. if u had 2 b a lifeless object 4 a day wat wud u b?
+ a laptop!

8. if u had 2 b an animal which wud u b?
+ id be a dog

9. if u had 2 live in another country wer wud u go?
+ maybe spain, finland or france

10. a new law enforced each person 2 have only 1 color for evrythin he/she owned,wat
color wud u chuz?
+ white

11. if u had 2 wryt a buk bout ur lyf wat wud b its title?
+ *insert my name here* ... hahaha... so creative!

12. u are d judge 4 d coolest book ever writen, wat buk wud get d award?
+ probably angels and demons by dan brown

13. u were given d chance 2 step into a "talent duplicator machine" that cud duplicate any person's talent & make it urs wat talent wud u pick & whose?
+ jaime's talent to talk... he can get away with anything just by talking. but mind you, he makes a lot of sense even if he's drunk!

14. if u were chosen to b d 1st 2 relocate 2 jupiter & cud only bring 1 personal item wat wud it be?
+ a satellite phone with limitless battery life

15. if u were given d chance 2 pick d world's 8th natural wonder wat wud u chuz?
+ amanpulo... i love staring at the pictures... it must be better in real life.

16. imagine urself as a car, wat model & make wud u b?wat color?
+ toyota landcruiser in classic metallic silver

17. u get transported 2 cartoon land & get 2 pik any cartoon identity 2 hav as ur own, w/c cartoon char. wud u chuz?
+ pooh

18. if u had a choice 2 pick 1 person in d world frm d past or present hu wouldn't die, hu wud it be?
+ someone

19. if u were stuck on a desert island & cud only hav 1 kind of food 4 d rest of ur lyf, wat wud it be?
+ taho!

20. describe ur dream home
+ not so big because im not used to big and empty houses. big garden.

21.wat is d 1st thing u thought about dis morning wen u woke up?
+ i need to be strong. i need to move on. i can do this!

All about me

1. What do you think people should know about you that they don't?
Ive always projected this tough and fighter lady image. But then underneath this is a soft-hearted being who easily gets hurt especially when it's issues about my family and loved ones. I breakdown too. And during these moments, im literally dysfunctional.

2. What is by far the greatest dream that you have for YOURSELF? (Maybe realistic or not)
To be happy. I guess happiness is something that is harder to attain than most material things. Im a big ass dreamer. I have so many things that I want to attain at a certain age. But when I finally get something(tangible or not) after all the hardwork, i still ask myself if I am happy.

3. If you were given the chance to write your own epitaph, what would be the phrase/sentence you would inscribe as to how you would want people to remember you by?
Something like... She has spent her life seeking for the true meaning of her existence, serving others and glorifying God.

4. If you had the power to stop time, move time, control the universe (people and nature), in other words play god for a day, what would be the 5 things that you would do with such power? Rank with 1 as the most important.
1 - Make all people healthy especially those people who are important to me.
2 - World peace
3 - Equality
4 - Justice
5 - Make everybody happy

5. Think this through. You have the option not to perform this last one for personal reasons. Here it goes: If your heart could cry out without your mouth trembling, what would it be saying by now.
I still love you so much that it's so hard for me to live each day without you.

Rules:
- If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment saying "interview me"
- the first five to leave a comment requesting to be participants will be interviewed.
- I will respond by asking you five questions.
- You will update your blog / site with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.'
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
(Write your own questions or borrow some).

Monday, June 20, 2005

To you

i tried to read again your 2nd to the last email.honestly,it still pains me. Im sorry. Please dont hate me when time comes that i try to find someone else. it doesnt mean i love you less. it just means,ive finally accepted that im destined to be unhappy but at least make other people happy at my expense. im also a pleaser as much as you are. i still believe in destiny. if it's not really you, then maybe someone out there is willing to spend the rest of his life with me.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Another boring friday

i have spoken with the architect when he went online last night and this morning before i went to work. He seems to be doing good now and recovering. im praying he'll be fine na talga.

we had an argument awhile ago. i promised myself not to blog when im not feeling so good or if i am still mad/annoyed. but then this is my outlet. the main reason that i created this blog is for me to have a place where i can put my thoughts and emotions. im a deep thinker and i really do a lot of thinking that sometimes it's driving me insane. im trying to be ok though.

i dont have much work again today. development of the portal is almost done. i cant believe that going to work these days makes me feel bored. im just waiting for bugs that the client reports. im so booooorrreeeedddd...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

A-B-C

A is for AGE: 24

B is for BOYFRIEND's name: hmmm....

C is for CAREER: IT consultant

D is for DAD's name: Ric

E is for ESSENTIAL item to bring on an airplane: wallet containing cards, id and money

F is for FAVORITE song at the moment: Heaven is You / Serendipity

G is for GIRLFRIENDS: bes, ate jing, karen, pheng, kv

H is for HOMETOWN: QC

I is for INSTRUMENTS you play: piano, guitar

J is for JAM or JELLY you like: ube jam

K is for KIDS: my future kids names... laura, kiel

L is for LIVING arrangements: living on my own with flatmates here in helsinki but still living with my parents and siblings back in manila

M is for MOM's name: beth

N is for NAME of your best friend(s): kay

O is for OVERNIGHT hospital stay: august 2004 when i had an operation here in helsinki. that was 4 days 3 nights!

P is for PHOBIA[s]: i havent discovered actually

Q is for QUOTE you like: Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in everything you do, and He will show you the right path."

R is for REALITY you have accepted: he can never be mine

S is for SINGER(s) you like most: d'sound, nyoy

T is for TIME you wake up: often it's 7am

U is for your UNIQUE trait: thinks like an adult but acts like a kid. hahaha.

V is for VEGETABLE you love: mushrooms

W is for WORST habit: nail biting!

X is for X-RAYS you've had: been a long time na but back in college we do it every year

Y is for YUMMY food you make: pasta dishes, common pinoy food (adobo, sinigang, etc), lisa's experiments... hahaha

Z is for ZODIAC sign: sagittarius

Blue Ginger hates...

1. food?
= veggies that i dont eat such as ampalaya, okra, etc... anything too sweet or greasy

2. color?
= anything neon

3. lugar?
= anywhere away from my loved ones

4. prutas?
= berries except strawberry

5. perfume/cologne?
= women's perfume that's too strong because they make me dizzy

6. brand ng damit?
= nothing in particular

7. kotse?
= i dont like the old mini cooper. echo doesnt look good either.

8. araw?
= mondays! wish it will always be weekend so i can rest

9. insekto?
= ipis na lumilipad! hihi

10. hayop?
= rats

11. movie?
= movies with no sense

12. telenovela?
= hmmm... juday telenovelas... hahaha

13. local artist?
girl = annoying sexy stars who talk too much
boy = ...

14. foreign artist?
girl = britney
boy= nick carter

15. local singer?
= renz verano... hahaha

16. foreign singer?
= ...

ANU PINAKA-AYAW MO SA:

1. kaibigan?
= liar

2. kapit-bahay?
= loud and chismosa

3. parents?
= they complain too much!

4. kapatid?
= makukulit

5. bestfriend?
= when she can act so normal even when there's something wrong

6. boyfriend/girlfriend?
= insensitive

7. crush?
= hmmmm.... he's too clueless that he's my crush! hahaha

8. kakilala?
= some love making gossips about me

AT HIGIT SA LAHAT.. ANUNG PINAKA-AYAW MO SA SARILI MO?
= ive never been good in expressing and saying what i really feel. i think i was never good in words. i think too much and i trust my feelings too little. im fickle-minded and indecisive. i am scared of getting hurt and yet i tend to love too much. i worry a lot even the things im not really supposed to worry about. i am not an escapist. when im lonely i drown myself to loneliness until it numbs me. that's how i move on. im not so good in handling my anger either.

Heaven is You

Im in the office with nothing to do. Im still waiting for a document from the client so i can start doing my work. This is going to be a long day of waiting...

In one of the emails that the architect sent me, he attached this mp3 entitled Heaven is You. He said that this song was made for him by his friend from the Serendipity band. It's a song based on one the band member's interview with the people who knows the architect much. He said that when he heard this song, he remembered me right away. Im touched! This is the song which made me cry so hard after hearing it. I wanted to let you hear the song but then i dont think im allowed to distribute it here. hmmm... piracy! hihi. Anyway, ill just post the lyrics for now.

Heaven is You
Serendipity

I wanted to tell you
For so long
The way that i feel for you
well maybe it's me
but i dont see no wrong
it feels the way that i do
coz everytime i reach for you
you pull away
i cant think of anything to say
but looking at you i realize

heaven is in your eyes
heaven is in your eyes
this moment forever with you
i feel im so real, and/it's so true
heaven is in your smile
heaven is in your smile
i couldnt ask for anything more
coz heaven is you

i wish i could show you
what i feel down inside
the love that is meant to be
oh baby i fail
even though i try
to set this feelings free
coz everytime i hold you close
you turn away
i cant seem to find the words to say
but looking at you i realize

when i look into your eyes
i see another place and time
and the loneliness inside
will never stop until you be mine
coz everytime i look at you i realize

heaven is you
i could see heaven
heaven is you


Yes he is and will always be my heaven... my happiness... my bliss.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

-jennifer-

In my desperate attempt last week to know what's happening to the architect, i sent jennifer (his ex) a message in friendster. fyi, the architect and I have discussed a lot about jen and he told me one time that she's in his friendster list. I am so sure that the architect told me that this jennifer in his friendster list is the same jen who's working with him on his new project.

anyway, here is jen's reply to my friendster message:

From: -jennifer-
Date: Monday, June 13, 2005 18:48:00
Subject: Re: hi
Message: hello *insert name here*,
sorry *insert name here*, but i think you've mistaken me for somebody else...i've met kyle here (friendster) but never actually met/seen him in person... much to my surprise when you mentioned that i was at his home the other day... louise called me once just to set a business meeting regarding their upcoming events this july..she told me kyle gave her my number to set an appointment...but anyway, bottomline is i dont know both of them personally.. :( my big guess is you've the wrong person. sorry...i hope everything will be ok... God bless..


whoa! she said they've never met! hmmm.... somebody here is not telling the truth! I dont know who to believe now. anyway, i dont want to ask him. im not ready to know the truth but whoever is lying here... i hope his nose grows really big!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Friendster Survey #1

1.Song playing at the moment?
- Lately by tyrese

2.One reason for living?
- my family

3.Do u think your partner is sexy?
- well he thinks he is. hahaha.

4.Ever donated blood?
- yes. back in college... tripping lang namin ni bes and we ended up so nauseated the rest of the day after the blood letting.hahaha.

5.Fav color(s)?
- black, white, purple... but my officemate kept insisting that orange is my fave color because a lot of my stuff are colored orange!hahaha

6.Accessories you usually wear?
- silver bracelet with my name, earrings, watch

7.One song to describe a heartbreak in the past?
- ...because I'd still say yes to you again...

8.Last place you went?
- bathroom to take a bath

9.Last person u went out with?
- punzi and chad... last saturday we went out to see Mr & Mrs Smith

10.The most boring sport?
-

11.Ever had a baby?
- not yet!

12.Last movie uve seen?
- Mr. & Mrs. Smith

13. Any piercings or tattoo?
- ear piercing

14.The most romantic gift?
- hmmmm... flowers after a big fight.

15.Act on stage before?
- yeah. back in college for HUM1/2 and highschool

16.Struck by lightning before?
- nope. will never want to be struck ever!

17.Danced with your loved one before?
- yup

18.Ever wished you could turn back time?
- sometimes yes

19.What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be someone from the opposite sex?
- that would be nice... for a change! hahaha.

20.One song that's meaningful to you?
- I'd Still Say Yes

21.Last person you met for the first time?
- nokian friends of chad when they had poker night few weeks ago

22.What will you be doing tomorrow?
- work still!

23.Who's your favorite F4 member?
- probably vaness wu... at talaga naman pong alam ko ang pangalan nya. hahaha! he's so sexy! sobra!

24.One thing you totally regret doing/done?
- not seeing him when i had the chance to.

25.Do people like you?
- I dont know. maybe... maybe not. sometimes i annoy people. but most of the time i try to please them. i just dont know what they say about it.

26.What was the last game you played on the computer?
- Warcraft dotA and Toki Toki Boom in YM

27.Someone who means a lot to you at the moment?
- still my someone

28.The color of your mobile phone?
- silver

29. Do you hate someone at the moment?
- yes... that SAP guy who tried to blame me for f**king the software when in fact, i can prove to him that it's not my fault. It's the second time he did that and for the 2nd time, i will prove him wrong.

30. What do you wish to happen now?!
- teleport to cebu and see him