Thursday, June 30, 2005

Friendster Survey #6

1. what kind of first impression do you think people say when they first see you?
*** sungit, serious

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
*** study

3. what is your favorite line to say when your drunk?
*** im not drunk! hahaha.

5. how many drinks before you're tipsy?
*** a shot of tequila/vodka or a bottle of beer

6. did you ever have to beg?
*** yes.. lots of times

7. what kind of books do you like to read?
*** fiction, textbooks (geek talaga!)

8. do you think you're cute?
*** gorgeous! hahaha

9. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
*** sometimes

10. favorite communication method?
*** email/chat

11. do you care?
*** about what?

12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
*** most of the time, icecream!

13. describe your bed?
*** single bed with 3 pillows and a comforter

14. spontaneous or planned?
*** planned but i dont mind if things become spontaneous

15. do you know how to play poker?
*** learning! im still not good at it.

16. what do you carry with you at all time?
*** phone, wallet

17. what do you miss most about being little?
*** having a less complicated life

18. are you happy with your given name?
*** yeah

19. how much would it take to give up the internet for 1 year?
*** priceless! i cannot live without internet... maybe for a day or two but cant be more than that!

21. have you ever been in a play?
*** yes. lots of times esp. in highschool

22. do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
*** yes. i have to believe in myself

23. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
*** nope. im annoyed at the government because they allow these people to suffer

24. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
*** yes. i think i am nice. hihi

25. do you spend more time with your family or your friends?
*** since im far from home, i spend more time with my workmates! hahaha

26. what's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
*** come home to manila asap

27. what is your ideal marriage location?
*** church

28. whats one instrument you wish you could play?
*** violin

29. something you love and hate?
*** my recent ex

30. whats one language you want to learn?
*** french!

31. what do you order at a bar?
*** smirnoff ice

32. have you ever pierced your body parts?
*** one in each ear

33. do you have any tattoos?
*** nope

34. would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted?
*** yes. why not

35. whats one trait you hate in a person?
*** people who lie

36. do you consider yourself materialistic?
*** sometimes i am

37. what do you cook best?
*** hmmm.. parang adobo yata. better ask my flatmates!

38. do you cry in front of your friends?
*** yes when i have to

39. describe yourself..
*** a workaholic at a young age, denies being an OC, loves too much, so driven by ambition and future plans, loves travelling but hates to be far from home for a long time, i believe in God above, i believe in romance, holding hands, saying iloveyou everyday and showing affection, i will travel miles for good food and gorgeous shoes, ive had failures, wrong decisions and shortcomings but I always stand up and learn from mistakes. my family and loved ones keep me going.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Notebook

What Chick Flick is just like Your Life?
created with
You scored as The Notebook. You have strong, passionate love like the notebook!

This is so me

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Who's the True You?

Got this from gary's blog.. thanks gar!

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.
You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

Sparktest Personality Test

You are an Accountant!(Submissive Introverted Concrete Thinker)
You are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)— reserved, meticulous, and dependable. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you.
There are basically two kinds of accountants, and you most likely fit into one of the two categories:

Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family.

Take the exam...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Someday i'll be over you

Song of the moment: I'll be over you (Toto)
Feeling: Sober

I went to another party early this evening. It was a celebration for the successful delivery of the project that we were working on for the past two months. We went to a bar called Belge in the helsinki central district. As its name suggests, it's a Belgian bar... one of the most popular bars here in helsinki. Since it's a weeknight, it's not as jampacked as it used to be on friday nights.

Last week and the week before that, i was on this same bar. Hmmm... im getting used to taking my weekly doze of alcohol! this sounds bad huh?! Ok, ok... this is not at all connected to my latest heartbreak! defensive eh?! hahaha. it just so happened that ive been attending so many celebrations lately. i dont even remember why i was always going to parties when in fact, there's no reason to party! i still have so much work to do and im not even done with the whole project. i dont think i deserve any celebration.

i just finished connecting and tinkering with our brand new cable modem! wooohooo! we had to get a new internet subscription since my canadian flatmate, who originally owned the old internet subscription, is leaving helsinki on thursday. how sad... My helsinki experience will never be the same without him. to chad... may you have a nice life back in canada and may i see you again soon! ill surely miss you. but i wont miss running after your filth in the apartment. hahaha.

ive been answering too much friendster surveys lately that i dont seem to make a real blog anymore. this is because im not so in the mood to write something... or should i say im just refraining from writing something about the architect. yes i still think about him but im trying not to. we havent been talking for days now... my weekend was architect free! that's a big change actually. i usually spend my weekends in front of my laptop talking to him. but the last weekend, i still spent it in front of my laptop but i wasnt talking to him... i was working!

I am enjoying my life... i am trying to enjoy may last 5 weeks here in helsinki. i dont know when i am going to go back here... hopefully not so soon. i have this strong feeling that i will be back here in a couple of months because i think we'll get the big nokia ep project! woohoo! so lucky for me to get involved in a big project such as this because this is sort of the break that i have been waiting. i hope we really get this project.

life isnt perfect... we cant have it all. maybe that's the reason why i cant have the architect and a great career at the same time. but nevertheless, i am still thankful for God's blessings. things happen for a reason so maybe in time ill find out why He took the architect away from me. A part of me is ok na after our break up. Im not as crazy about him unlike 2 weeks ago. I cant say im depressed because i dont feel depressed anymore. Maybe HH also has something to do with it. It's just that i try to look at the brighter side of the bad things that happened. I know i will not get over him overnight. I know it might take me a while to completely let go of my feelings for him. I just hope he doesnt give me reasons to make me fall in love with him while im in the process of healing myself from all the heartaches he caused me.

change topic... i will be going to my accenture friend's apartment on thursday for their despedida party. they're flying back to manila on saturday. waaaaaaahhhh! everybody's going home. Jaime and I are the only pinoys left here! did i see the word party??? oh my! another drinking spree coming!

I need to go to bed now. Lots of work to do tomorrow. Nyt!

Friendster Survey #5

[ Clothes ] office clothes... longsleeves & slacks
[ Mood ] sober
[ Music] visions of a sunset
[ Taste ] minty... from the gum i ate
[ Make-up ] none
[ Hair ] long, straight, ponytailed
[ Smell ] victoria's secret
[ Desktop Picture ] kimi raikkonen
[ Book Reading ] none at the moment
[ CD in Player] none
[ DVD in player] none
[ Color Of Toenails ] natural... havent had pedicure for the last 2months
[ Refreshment ] just had a bottle of smirnoff ice
[ Worry ] has my sister paid my bills?

-L A S T. P E R S O N-
[ You Touched ] myself
[ You Talked to ] jaime
[ You Hugged ] chad
[ You Instant messaged ] HH
[ You Yelled At ] none
[ You Kissed ] HH

-F A V O R I T E-
[ Food ] taho, pasta, shrimps
[ Drink ] water
[ Colors ] white, black, purple
[ Album ] no particular album
[ Shoes ] pointed shoes
[Candy ] jolly rancher green apple flavor
[ Animal ] dog but i cant have a pet for some reasons
[ TV Show ] csi!
[ Movie ] coyote ugly
[ Song ] heaven is in your eyes
[ Vegetable ] mushrooms
[ Cartoon ] pooh

-A R E .Y O U.-
[ Understanding ] i believe i am... ask my bf
[ Open-minded ] yes
[ Arrogant ] i hope not
[ Insecure ] at times i am
[ Interesting ] maybe
[ Random ] yes
[ Hungry ] yeah
[ Friendly ] hmmm... i try to be
[ Smart ] i guess so
[ Moody ] yes.. very much!
[ Childish ] at times
[ Independent ] i am
[ Hard working ] absolutely!
[ Organized ] yes
[ Healthy ] i hope i am
[ Emotionally Stable ] oh no!
[ Difficult ] at times yes
[ Attractive ] i hope!
[ Bored Easily ] sometimes
[ Messy ] nope!
[ Thirsty ] no
[ Responsible ] yes
[ Obsessed ] i think so
[ Angry ] not at the moment
[ Sad ] yes
[ Happy] maybe
[ Hyper ] when i am recharged
[ Trusting ] yes

-W H O .D O .Y O U .W A N T .T O-
[ Slap ] him
[ Hug ] him also... tsk tsk tsk
[ Get High With ] none
[ Look Like ] nobody.. i want to be unique
[ Talk To Offline ] my family
[ Talk To Online ] him

-W H O-
[makes u laugh the most?] right now, it's HH
[makes you smile] that guy who broke my heart too many times
[gives u a funny feeling at sight] arto
[do you have a crush on?] arto... he's the nokian guy i have a big crush on...hehehe
[has a crush on you?] wala. sigh.
[is easiest to talk to] HH

-W I L L. Y O U .E V E R-
[wait all night for sum1 special to I.M. you] definitely!
[save I.M. conversations] believe it or not... i do!
[wish u were of the opposite sex] nope!
[cried because of what someone said to you] yes... lots of times

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend] yes... back in college days. my first bf was my guy bestfriend
[rejected] yes
[been cheated on] i dont know.. maybe!
[done something you regret] yes

-D O .Y O U -
[could you live without the computer?] nope! absolutely, definitely not at all!
[color your hair] i had cellophane but never the real coloring
[ever get off the damn computer] yes... when it's bedtime
[drink alchohol?] yes... but it only takes me a bottle of beer to get me tipsy...hahaha
[like watching the sun rise/set] yes
[get involved with after school stuff] yes
[make a fool out of yourself often?] at least i try not to.

-N U M B E R .O F-
[Times u had your heart broken] too many times i cant even count
[hearts u've broken] have i broken someone's heart? i dont know... i always end up more broken than my exes!
[close friends i have] less than 10
[CDs i own] a lot
[scars on my body] several

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Friendster Survey #4 to walk under the rain?
-- yes... but my lolananay always scolds me when i do it.

2.Sleep with or without clothes on?
-- with... i dont feel comfy without clothes

3.Prefer black or blue pens?
-- black... but really, it doesnt matter. whatever is within reach

4. dress up on Halloween?
-- no

5.Like to travel ?
-- absolutely!

6.Like someone?
-- very much

7.Do he/she know?
-- he does. but the feeling isnt mutual.

8.cute ba cya?
-- of course!

9.Think you're attractive?
-- hahaha.

10.Want to marry?
-- honestly, i dont know. something in me wants to walk down the aisle but i dont know if im destined to ever be married.

-- him.. the guy who broke my heart too many times but i still love him.

12.Alaska or Hawaii?
-- Hawaii

13.Are you a good student?
-- i believe so

14.Are you currently in a relationship?
-- yes... very much

15.Are you involved in sports?
-- does watching equates to involvement? hahaha. i love watching F1.

16.Christmas or Halloween?
-- Christmas

17.Colored or black-and-white photo?
-- colored

18.Do long distance relationships work?
-- it depends. mine worked for a while and then it ended but not because it was a long distance relationship... we broke up for a different reason.

19.Do you believe in astrology?
-- i dont know... maybe

20. Do you believe in GoD?
-- absolutely!

21.Do you believe in love at first sight?
-- no

22.Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
-- no

23.Are u an outgoing person?
-- yeah i guess so

24.Do you have a job?
-- yes

25.Do you make fun of people?
-- sometimes

26.Do you think dreams eventually come true?
-- I believe

27.Fave things to do?
-- seeing new places, shopping til my feet ache, walk a long mile for great food, see movies even if im so tired from work, have a good cup of coffee with cigarettes

30.Chocolates or Candy?
-- candy

31.Fave. person?
-- my partner

32.Favorite body part of the opposite sex?
-- lips and eyes

33.Favorite food?
-- taho, pasta, shrimps

34.Go to the movies or rent?
-- movies

35.How's the weather right now?
-- we still have sunshine at 9pm, cool breeze, very very nice weather!

38.Hug or kiss?
-- hug

39.Last person you talked to on the phone?
-- carlos... he called yesterday

40.Last time you showered?
-- This morning

41.Loud or soft music?
-- definitely soft!

42.McDonalds or Burger King?
-- BK

43.More romantic.. baths or shower?
-- baths

44.Night or day?
-- night..

45.Number of pillows on ur bed?
-- 3 big ones

46.Piano or guitar?
-- guitar... easier to carry anywhere

47.Read or write?
-- read

48.Single or taken?
-- very much taken

49.Snow or water?
-- snow

50.What are you going to do tomorrow?
-- work work work!

51.what clothes are you wearing?
-- shirt and boxers

52.What do you drink?
-- water

53.What's ur wallpaper on your computer?
-- kimi raikkonen!!!!

54.What's right next to you?
-- my luggage

55.What's your bedtime?
-- usually, 1am

56. What can u say to the person who hurt you the most?
-- thank you for being strong for both of us. you know so well that i am not capable of letting you go just like that. thank you because you gave me now a reason to accept things that i cannot change. i am still hurt but i know this will pass. i wish for your happiness. i wish you good health. may God always bless you. you take care.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Ouch! It hit me

I love you so much it hurts...
but, the pain is what keeps my heart beating...
loving you is my reason for waking up in the morning...
because it will be another chance to see you...
it’s my reason to sleep at night hoping that in my dreams...
even if it’s only in my dreams that we will be together...

how can you assume to be friends with someone when all you think about when you look at him is how much more you really want? The farthest distance is not separated by life and death nor by the place, but when i stand in front of you and you dont know that i love you...

yep... im still awake. someone must be thinking of me that's why i cant sleep! waaaaahhh! please lang kung sino ka man, patulugin mo na ko.

Mid-summer at Helsinki

It was mid-summer holiday here in helsinki yesterday. So that means i didnt have work but i still worked from home. what a way of spending a holiday!

During mid-summer here, daylight is non-stop... even until 11pm. Hmm.. i think i will be having a hard time sleeping again tonight because my room is by the window and it's still so bright even if it's close to midnight. Weather is at its best since i came here 1st of may. bright skies... warmth from the sun... a bit of cool breeze... hayyy.... wish it's like this back in the philippines!

im doing so much better. thank you Lord for giving me strength to let him go. Looking forward to going home in less than 5weeks. Yipeeee!!!

My testimonial for HH...

je serai toujours reconnaissant que Dieu nous a réuni. Je sais que j'ai mes imperfections en tant que votre petite amie mais j'essayerai certainement mon plus dur pour être quelqu'un qui mérite une personne merveilleuse telle que vous je t'aime.

i will always be thankful that God brought us together. I know I have my shortcomings as your girlfriend but i will definitely try my hardest to be someone who deserves such a wonderful person as you. i love you.

Friendster Survey #4

1. After office, makikita mo ko sa...
-- back in manila, you'll see me in a coffeeshop or a resto. here in helsinki, after office, i go straight home.

2. Where do you usually hang-out?
-- most of the time im in glorietta or greenbelt. makati malls are so accessible from my office.

3. Nakatapak ka na ba ng bubble gum or poopoo sa kalye?
-- yup! hahaha

4. Last movie you saw?
-- Mr & Mrs Smith

5. Most expensive object you bought with your own money?
-- vacation trip to sweden

6. Kung papipiliin ka, YOSI o BEER?
-- yosi... marlboro lights or dunhill lights

7. They say "you are who you hang out with"
-- i dont know. i have a lot of sets of friends. they're all unique i must say.

8. Have you ever fallen in-love with a friend?
-- yes. and i promised myself never to repeat it

9. What would you do if you caught your guy/girl & bestfriend sleeping together?
-- are they naked? my bestfriend is married so she's in a really big trouble. my bf on the otherhand will be dealt with in a not so nice way.

10. Any pets? What are their names?
-- none at the moment

11. May nasuntok ka na ba?
-- meron

12. Anung sabi nung sinuntok mo?
-- wala. umiyak lang

13. Which do u prefer, Jollibee or McDo?
-- jollibee

14. Wendy's or KFC?
-- wendy's

15. Ever broken someone's heart?
-- i think so. but my heart gets more broken than them.

16. Ever had your heart broken?
-- yes. lots of times. im thinking i should be numb by now!

19. What did you do to the person who broke your heart?
-- Still trying to let him go.

20. What's inside your pocket?
-- nothing

21. Fave past time?
-- watch movies, dine out, have coffee and smoke, talk with friends

22. Biggest regret in life?
-- spending years drooling over someone who doesnt love me anyway

23. Worst experience you've been through?
-- being away from home, having to worry about losing someone and not being able to do anything but cry

24. Best place you'd rather be?
-- anywhere near my loved ones

25. Would you kiss on a first date?
-- tradition says no. but it depends who i am dating... if it's brad pitt, who would resist a first kiss on a first date right?

26. Last time you cried?
-- early this week. cried myself to sleep.

27. Most embarassing thing you did for love?
-- push myself to him and he did not want me na pala.

28. In love right now?
-- i would like to believe that i am

29. Is someone in-love with u?
-- i hope! hahaha

30. Describe the kind of love for your significant one
-- unconditional

Friday, June 24, 2005


Your EQ is

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

HH's Friendster Survey #1

I was so surprised to find this in friendster. I didnt know that my bf has been visiting friendster quite often lately. I wonder why?! Spying on me? hahaha. Im really surprised he posted something in the Bulletin Board with my name written on it! he's been acting pretty weird lately. I think i must talk to him. my comments are in all caps.hihi

Date: Wednesday, June 22, 2005 15:02:00
Subject: close to nothing
* fallen by sarah mclachlan

* to loved ones and to eat the best foie gras in bordoux. <-- OOOOOOHHHHH

* hotter than a convection oven baby....and she knows that. <-- OF COURSE I DONT KNOW THAT! UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER PARTNER!

* nah.....i have too much oil in my blood.

* black, white, grey and red

* is a chef's jacket legal? <--- I DONT THINK IT'S COUNTED AS AN ACCESSORY HUN!

* invisible man - 98 degrees

* bangkok, thailand

* my best friend karl rey manalo (dude, i owe you one...... BIG TIME!!!) <-- THANK YOU KARL FOR KEEPING MY HH BUSY WHILE I AM AWAY!

* dami, there is cricket, golf, polo & chess.

* i hope in the near future, right now si *insert my name here* lang baby ko. <-- AWWWW. HOW SWEET!

* batman begins by christian bale. <-- WAAAAAA! YOU WATCHED IT WITHOUT ME??!

* wish lang, sana sa nose or sa lower lip. <-- I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEE ME IF YOU HAVE THESE PIERCINGS!


* a lot , elementary, HS, college. <-- EVEN WHEN I WAS IN MANILA.. HE ACTS PRETTY GOOD IN FRONT OF ME. HAHAHA.

* i've been electrocuted before but not lightning.


* yes, i want to correct my mistakes, but i think its ok not to.

* hmmmmmm......a tricky question, maybe ill screw her again in the ass ahhahahah,
kidding......of course i'll be surprised and confused and ask my self "how the hell did i end up with this b*tch?"

* do you remember love? - lyn min may

* si ms. karen quiambao of batch 10 ng CACS

* cook for the salad day. <-- THERE GOES MY CHEF!

* none of them,but i like the girl who played yesha. <-- AHA! I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE! THAT'S WHY YOU WANTED TO BORROW MY METEOR GARDEN PART 2 HUH?!

* screwing up my life.

* seriously........NO. <-- I LIKE YOU!

* gundam century.

* insert my name here =* <--WOW! IT'S ME! IT'S ME! HIHI


* yes i do hate someone right now....dalawa sila, yung isa si ****** yung isa naman eh si ******, you figure it out. <-- HMMMM... SINO TO?!

* 2 important things.......get a new PC and get **** ahhahahahaha <-- GET LAID?! BAD KA AH!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Friendster Survey #3

1.your worst nickname
-- i cant think of any

2.fave thing to do at a party
-- eat! hahaha

3.fave outfit
-- shirt, pants, walking shoes

4.hatest song
-- any music that hurt my ears

5.i hate it when....
-- someone lies to me, insults me, my plans dont get executed

6.fave sport
-- volleyball, billiards, table tennis

7.favorite expression
-- omg

8.most dramatic thing you've done
-- ay naku wag na! madami akong moments na ganyan

9.i want...
-- to be an architect. but if i wont have the opportunity anymore, i might settle in being a java architect. hehehe. i want to be filthy rich so that i can help more people in need. to go home in manila na!

10.fave website
-- google, yahoo,

11.worst drink youve had
-- salmiyaki! it tastes as bad as it sounds! hahaha

12.worst odor you've smellled
-- awful stench of some finns here. grabe! ang lakas sobra!

13.worst kind of person
-- someone who refuses to be happy and be loved

14.your ticklish spot
-- haha... ask my bf

15.where you wanna go ryt now
-- home =(

16.i feel like eating....
-- taho!

17.worst excuse you've ever heard
-- im leaving you because i love you so much! wtf!

18.fave simpsons character
-- lisa simpson

19.ym or msn..?
-- YM

20.fave fresh fruit shake
-- mango kiwi

21.worst fruit
-- durian... i cant stand the smell

22.worst scar
-- my incision area in the tummy. parang nanganak na!

23.will&grace or friends..?
-- friends

24.dream life...
-- great career, great family, great house, nice car, go to work only when i want to, earn money even if im vacationing*t or cr*p..?
-- sus!

26.lamb or steak?
-- steak w/ brown OR pink w/ blue..?
-- pink with brown

28.converse Or adidas..?
-- adidas

29.fave bottomless drink
-- water

30.a billion $s or happiness
-- happiness

31. time u spend online?
-- almost 24-7

32.gatorade or ice-tea..?
-- water!

33.dream guy/girl
-- him

34. fave place to shop
-- anywhere with sale

35.madonna or britney
-- madonna

36.fave american idol
-- carrie

37. fave thing to do?
-- anything as long as im with my loved ones

38.worst actress
-- hmmm.... bold stars

39.spongebob or patrick?
-- spongebob

40.pasta or pizza?
-- pasta!

41.fave nail polish color
-- i dont put on one

42.fave tv channel
-- lifestyle channel, food network, hbo

43.fave piece of jewelry
-- earrings

44.fave ice cream flavor
-- vanilla

45.beyonce or j-lo?
-- neither a ghost or be an angel?
-- angel

47.left or right handed?
-- righty

48.champorado or champola?
-- ummm.. champola

49.cellphone or iPOD?
-- cellphone! di ako matatawagan ng client ko sa iPod. hahaha

50.answer another survey or is this the last survey for today?
-- sana last na! but im still bored. might try to answer another one. hehehe

Friendster Survey #2

1. For you, traveling is:
~ freedom!

2. Do you believe in soul mates?
~ yes. i want to believe that ive already found him.

3. How do you feel today?
~ tired from work.

4. Do you watch what you eat?
~ not much... sometimes when i feel so heavy na. hahaha.

5. Would you rather: Get married to the wrong person or Be single for the rest of your life?
~ be single and have kids. hahaha

6. Are you your own biggest critic?
~ yes. i guess that's the only way you can do better each time.

7. The most important quality to you is: Loyalty or Trust
~ trust

8. Do you like surprises?
~ not really. im an OC planner.

9. Serious or funny girl/guy?
~ funny. my life is too serious already. i need someone to make me laugh.

10. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ___ of them all?
~ most annoying

11. How do you feel if you see people suffering on the news?
~ sad and mad esp. when it's the government's fault

12. What would you rather be?
~ an architect or probably a chef

13. Do you hold grudges?
~ i would want to believe no.

14. (Complete the sentence) You and your friends are most likely to start a/an:
~ chaos!

15. Are you a good listener?
~ i think so.

16. Who makes you laugh?
~ someone, my workmates, bes

17. Worst thing youve ever done?
~ push myself to someone who doesnt want me anymore.

18. Be honest. Ever been called a liar?
~ yeah. when my parents caught me going somewhere without asking for permission.

19. Be honest. Ever been called a brat?
~ nope! never.

20. Where are you going tom?
~ probably suomelinna island again to meditate. haha. just kidding. i need a break from work and tomorrow's a holiday here.

21. Is life more enjoyable when you have a consistent routine?
~ nope. i like doing something new each time. i like living my days as if it were my last.

22. Do you have to see it to believe it?
~ not always.

23. Is being more successful than your friends important to you?
~ nope. im happy for my friends if they are more successful than i am.

24. How long does it take to make yourself look good every morning?
~ minimum of an hour!

25. Do you think with your heart or head?
~ used to think with my heart. but ive been hurt too many times already. another one might kill me na so im trying to use my head now!

26. Are you a shop-a-holic?
~ no... hahaha. in denial!

27. Do you only buy expensive stuffs?
~ sometimes... when my budget permits me to. but most of the time no.. im so kuripot!

28. What was the most useless expensive item youve got?
~ i cant think of any! i make the most out of the expensive stuff i buy since i seldom buy them!

29. Do you eat your vegetables?
~ i choose which veggies to eat

30. What are you craving for right this very moment?
~ taho!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I love answering these...

1.what images come to your mind wen u are asked bout ur childhud?
+ playing with my cousins in our street... patintero, habulan, etc.

2. if evry1 had 2 pick a new name wat wud b urs?
+ same name i have now...

3. describe ur dream vacation
+ euro tour... very much away from work!

4. wat wud u do if u suddenly found out u were an heir to a royal family's fortune,but wud have 2 relocate 2 another country 2 acquire it?
+ nice! i dont mind as long as i can travel back to PI anytime

5. a mad scientist is goin 2 switch ol ur body parts xcept 1,which body part wil u choose 2 kip?
+ my brain... i have too much good memories that i would want to keep

6. if u had a million dollars wat wud u spend it on?
+ treat my family to a vacation abroad, shopping, investments, give to the charities

7. if u had 2 b a lifeless object 4 a day wat wud u b?
+ a laptop!

8. if u had 2 b an animal which wud u b?
+ id be a dog

9. if u had 2 live in another country wer wud u go?
+ maybe spain, finland or france

10. a new law enforced each person 2 have only 1 color for evrythin he/she owned,wat
color wud u chuz?
+ white

11. if u had 2 wryt a buk bout ur lyf wat wud b its title?
+ *insert my name here* ... hahaha... so creative!

12. u are d judge 4 d coolest book ever writen, wat buk wud get d award?
+ probably angels and demons by dan brown

13. u were given d chance 2 step into a "talent duplicator machine" that cud duplicate any person's talent & make it urs wat talent wud u pick & whose?
+ jaime's talent to talk... he can get away with anything just by talking. but mind you, he makes a lot of sense even if he's drunk!

14. if u were chosen to b d 1st 2 relocate 2 jupiter & cud only bring 1 personal item wat wud it be?
+ a satellite phone with limitless battery life

15. if u were given d chance 2 pick d world's 8th natural wonder wat wud u chuz?
+ amanpulo... i love staring at the pictures... it must be better in real life.

16. imagine urself as a car, wat model & make wud u b?wat color?
+ toyota landcruiser in classic metallic silver

17. u get transported 2 cartoon land & get 2 pik any cartoon identity 2 hav as ur own, w/c cartoon char. wud u chuz?
+ pooh

18. if u had a choice 2 pick 1 person in d world frm d past or present hu wouldn't die, hu wud it be?
+ someone

19. if u were stuck on a desert island & cud only hav 1 kind of food 4 d rest of ur lyf, wat wud it be?
+ taho!

20. describe ur dream home
+ not so big because im not used to big and empty houses. big garden.

21.wat is d 1st thing u thought about dis morning wen u woke up?
+ i need to be strong. i need to move on. i can do this!

All about me

1. What do you think people should know about you that they don't?
Ive always projected this tough and fighter lady image. But then underneath this is a soft-hearted being who easily gets hurt especially when it's issues about my family and loved ones. I breakdown too. And during these moments, im literally dysfunctional.

2. What is by far the greatest dream that you have for YOURSELF? (Maybe realistic or not)
To be happy. I guess happiness is something that is harder to attain than most material things. Im a big ass dreamer. I have so many things that I want to attain at a certain age. But when I finally get something(tangible or not) after all the hardwork, i still ask myself if I am happy.

3. If you were given the chance to write your own epitaph, what would be the phrase/sentence you would inscribe as to how you would want people to remember you by?
Something like... She has spent her life seeking for the true meaning of her existence, serving others and glorifying God.

4. If you had the power to stop time, move time, control the universe (people and nature), in other words play god for a day, what would be the 5 things that you would do with such power? Rank with 1 as the most important.
1 - Make all people healthy especially those people who are important to me.
2 - World peace
3 - Equality
4 - Justice
5 - Make everybody happy

5. Think this through. You have the option not to perform this last one for personal reasons. Here it goes: If your heart could cry out without your mouth trembling, what would it be saying by now.
I still love you so much that it's so hard for me to live each day without you.

- If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment saying "interview me"
- the first five to leave a comment requesting to be participants will be interviewed.
- I will respond by asking you five questions.
- You will update your blog / site with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.'
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
(Write your own questions or borrow some).

Monday, June 20, 2005

To you

i tried to read again your 2nd to the last email.honestly,it still pains me. Im sorry. Please dont hate me when time comes that i try to find someone else. it doesnt mean i love you less. it just means,ive finally accepted that im destined to be unhappy but at least make other people happy at my expense. im also a pleaser as much as you are. i still believe in destiny. if it's not really you, then maybe someone out there is willing to spend the rest of his life with me.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Another boring friday

i have spoken with the architect when he went online last night and this morning before i went to work. He seems to be doing good now and recovering. im praying he'll be fine na talga.

we had an argument awhile ago. i promised myself not to blog when im not feeling so good or if i am still mad/annoyed. but then this is my outlet. the main reason that i created this blog is for me to have a place where i can put my thoughts and emotions. im a deep thinker and i really do a lot of thinking that sometimes it's driving me insane. im trying to be ok though.

i dont have much work again today. development of the portal is almost done. i cant believe that going to work these days makes me feel bored. im just waiting for bugs that the client reports. im so booooorrreeeedddd...

Thursday, June 16, 2005


A is for AGE: 24

B is for BOYFRIEND's name: hmmm....

C is for CAREER: IT consultant

D is for DAD's name: Ric

E is for ESSENTIAL item to bring on an airplane: wallet containing cards, id and money

F is for FAVORITE song at the moment: Heaven is You / Serendipity

G is for GIRLFRIENDS: bes, ate jing, karen, pheng, kv


I is for INSTRUMENTS you play: piano, guitar

J is for JAM or JELLY you like: ube jam

K is for KIDS: my future kids names... laura, kiel

L is for LIVING arrangements: living on my own with flatmates here in helsinki but still living with my parents and siblings back in manila

M is for MOM's name: beth

N is for NAME of your best friend(s): kay

O is for OVERNIGHT hospital stay: august 2004 when i had an operation here in helsinki. that was 4 days 3 nights!

P is for PHOBIA[s]: i havent discovered actually

Q is for QUOTE you like: Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in everything you do, and He will show you the right path."

R is for REALITY you have accepted: he can never be mine

S is for SINGER(s) you like most: d'sound, nyoy

T is for TIME you wake up: often it's 7am

U is for your UNIQUE trait: thinks like an adult but acts like a kid. hahaha.

V is for VEGETABLE you love: mushrooms

W is for WORST habit: nail biting!

X is for X-RAYS you've had: been a long time na but back in college we do it every year

Y is for YUMMY food you make: pasta dishes, common pinoy food (adobo, sinigang, etc), lisa's experiments... hahaha

Z is for ZODIAC sign: sagittarius

Blue Ginger hates...

1. food?
= veggies that i dont eat such as ampalaya, okra, etc... anything too sweet or greasy

2. color?
= anything neon

3. lugar?
= anywhere away from my loved ones

4. prutas?
= berries except strawberry

5. perfume/cologne?
= women's perfume that's too strong because they make me dizzy

6. brand ng damit?
= nothing in particular

7. kotse?
= i dont like the old mini cooper. echo doesnt look good either.

8. araw?
= mondays! wish it will always be weekend so i can rest

9. insekto?
= ipis na lumilipad! hihi

10. hayop?
= rats

11. movie?
= movies with no sense

12. telenovela?
= hmmm... juday telenovelas... hahaha

13. local artist?
girl = annoying sexy stars who talk too much
boy = ...

14. foreign artist?
girl = britney
boy= nick carter

15. local singer?
= renz verano... hahaha

16. foreign singer?
= ...


1. kaibigan?
= liar

2. kapit-bahay?
= loud and chismosa

3. parents?
= they complain too much!

4. kapatid?
= makukulit

5. bestfriend?
= when she can act so normal even when there's something wrong

6. boyfriend/girlfriend?
= insensitive

7. crush?
= hmmmm.... he's too clueless that he's my crush! hahaha

8. kakilala?
= some love making gossips about me

= ive never been good in expressing and saying what i really feel. i think i was never good in words. i think too much and i trust my feelings too little. im fickle-minded and indecisive. i am scared of getting hurt and yet i tend to love too much. i worry a lot even the things im not really supposed to worry about. i am not an escapist. when im lonely i drown myself to loneliness until it numbs me. that's how i move on. im not so good in handling my anger either.

Heaven is You

Im in the office with nothing to do. Im still waiting for a document from the client so i can start doing my work. This is going to be a long day of waiting...

In one of the emails that the architect sent me, he attached this mp3 entitled Heaven is You. He said that this song was made for him by his friend from the Serendipity band. It's a song based on one the band member's interview with the people who knows the architect much. He said that when he heard this song, he remembered me right away. Im touched! This is the song which made me cry so hard after hearing it. I wanted to let you hear the song but then i dont think im allowed to distribute it here. hmmm... piracy! hihi. Anyway, ill just post the lyrics for now.

Heaven is You

I wanted to tell you
For so long
The way that i feel for you
well maybe it's me
but i dont see no wrong
it feels the way that i do
coz everytime i reach for you
you pull away
i cant think of anything to say
but looking at you i realize

heaven is in your eyes
heaven is in your eyes
this moment forever with you
i feel im so real, and/it's so true
heaven is in your smile
heaven is in your smile
i couldnt ask for anything more
coz heaven is you

i wish i could show you
what i feel down inside
the love that is meant to be
oh baby i fail
even though i try
to set this feelings free
coz everytime i hold you close
you turn away
i cant seem to find the words to say
but looking at you i realize

when i look into your eyes
i see another place and time
and the loneliness inside
will never stop until you be mine
coz everytime i look at you i realize

heaven is you
i could see heaven
heaven is you

Yes he is and will always be my heaven... my happiness... my bliss.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


In my desperate attempt last week to know what's happening to the architect, i sent jennifer (his ex) a message in friendster. fyi, the architect and I have discussed a lot about jen and he told me one time that she's in his friendster list. I am so sure that the architect told me that this jennifer in his friendster list is the same jen who's working with him on his new project.

anyway, here is jen's reply to my friendster message:

From: -jennifer-
Date: Monday, June 13, 2005 18:48:00
Subject: Re: hi
Message: hello *insert name here*,
sorry *insert name here*, but i think you've mistaken me for somebody else...i've met kyle here (friendster) but never actually met/seen him in person... much to my surprise when you mentioned that i was at his home the other day... louise called me once just to set a business meeting regarding their upcoming events this july..she told me kyle gave her my number to set an appointment...but anyway, bottomline is i dont know both of them personally.. :( my big guess is you've the wrong person. sorry...i hope everything will be ok... God bless..

whoa! she said they've never met! hmmm.... somebody here is not telling the truth! I dont know who to believe now. anyway, i dont want to ask him. im not ready to know the truth but whoever is lying here... i hope his nose grows really big!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Friendster Survey #1

1.Song playing at the moment?
- Lately by tyrese

2.One reason for living?
- my family

3.Do u think your partner is sexy?
- well he thinks he is. hahaha.

4.Ever donated blood?
- yes. back in college... tripping lang namin ni bes and we ended up so nauseated the rest of the day after the blood letting.hahaha.

5.Fav color(s)?
- black, white, purple... but my officemate kept insisting that orange is my fave color because a lot of my stuff are colored orange!hahaha

6.Accessories you usually wear?
- silver bracelet with my name, earrings, watch

7.One song to describe a heartbreak in the past?
- ...because I'd still say yes to you again...

8.Last place you went?
- bathroom to take a bath

9.Last person u went out with?
- punzi and chad... last saturday we went out to see Mr & Mrs Smith

10.The most boring sport?

11.Ever had a baby?
- not yet!

12.Last movie uve seen?
- Mr. & Mrs. Smith

13. Any piercings or tattoo?
- ear piercing

14.The most romantic gift?
- hmmmm... flowers after a big fight.

15.Act on stage before?
- yeah. back in college for HUM1/2 and highschool

16.Struck by lightning before?
- nope. will never want to be struck ever!

17.Danced with your loved one before?
- yup

18.Ever wished you could turn back time?
- sometimes yes

19.What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be someone from the opposite sex?
- that would be nice... for a change! hahaha.

20.One song that's meaningful to you?
- I'd Still Say Yes

21.Last person you met for the first time?
- nokian friends of chad when they had poker night few weeks ago

22.What will you be doing tomorrow?
- work still!

23.Who's your favorite F4 member?
- probably vaness wu... at talaga naman pong alam ko ang pangalan nya. hahaha! he's so sexy! sobra!

24.One thing you totally regret doing/done?
- not seeing him when i had the chance to.

25.Do people like you?
- I dont know. maybe... maybe not. sometimes i annoy people. but most of the time i try to please them. i just dont know what they say about it.

26.What was the last game you played on the computer?
- Warcraft dotA and Toki Toki Boom in YM

27.Someone who means a lot to you at the moment?
- still my someone

28.The color of your mobile phone?
- silver

29. Do you hate someone at the moment?
- yes... that SAP guy who tried to blame me for f**king the software when in fact, i can prove to him that it's not my fault. It's the second time he did that and for the 2nd time, i will prove him wrong.

30. What do you wish to happen now?!
- teleport to cebu and see him

Monday, June 13, 2005

I still love thee

Ive been avoiding to blog the past days because i felt traumatized by what happened to the architect after reading my blog. I almost got him killed! It's not really my intention to hurt him but then in my blog, i set the rules how much censorship I want to put here. This is a free country and I can say what I want to say. ok, that was before the incident happened. Now im trying to be careful with my words.

Wednesday last week... that was night of june 7, 2005, i gave the architect the link to my most hidden journal. That was the original Blue Ginger blog. It was the story of my life for the past two years. Most of the accounts there concerned him... if not he's the main topic. I guess he felt so bad at me after reading it that he wanted to break up with me. I did not accept it at first but I later realized he does not want me to be his gf anymore, instead, just be his friend. He said he's given me enough pain already and we should just remain friends so that he'll stop hurting me. He reminded me how much he still loves me but he said he cant make me happy. What can I do? i just cried.

The following morning, he didnt sleep and so did i, we were chatting before i went to work. he tried to call me but i turned off my phone. he asked me to turn on my webcam and i complied... maybe see me for the last time. his last words were... '*insert name here*.... i love you...' trying to avoid crying, i told him im going to my office and will be back online after 15-20mins. The next thing i knew, his secretary was replying to my messages in his ym. His secretary told me that they brought him to the hospital after they found him lying on the floor unconscious. I was ecstatic! I really panicked! I really felt so guilty.

He was and still is in ICU... i think! His cousin sent me sms and said she has something to tell me. I called his cousin. I was surprised to find out that the architect asked his cousin to send me several emails he has composed earlier. im not sure when he started making them but i think it wasnt made on one day alone. Is he paranoid or something? did he see it coming? i felt more scared learning that he was actually preparing for something like this to happen. we never discussed issues about his health. His cousin told me that the architect has been trying to be ok inspite of his sickness. I just felt so bad because i turned him down a couple of times during our last chat and i was the last one he spoke with before he collapsed. I was so affected by what happened to him that i barely slept and ate because of worrying too much about him. I thought i will be going insane if i kept thinking of him too much.

Yesterday, I spoke with his cousin again. she told me that the architect is now out of danger and has regained consciousness but still he is weak. I felt so relieved! God must have answered my prayers when I went to church to pray for him yesterday. god is good.

because of my ka-praningan last week, i asked for permission from my bosses if i will be allowed to come home to the philippines anytime this week. they actually allowed me to come home after I told them of the architect's situation and how much I wanted to see him. But then, when I asked for the home address of the architect from his cousin, the cousin told me that the architect's dad did not want me to know his address because it will just complicate things... hmmm... that's something I cannot understand. why dont they want me to see him? i wont come there to cause any commotion of some sort. I want to see him maybe for the last time. I want to him to see me as his friend and not me as an ex-gf. i really dont understand. i felt bad actually. I still feel bad until now. And so I will be staying here in helsinki until august. there will be no use if i come home to manila now because i wont see the architect still. =(

im so tired from work. im resting now. this tragedy last week is making me feel so tired.

I'm is sooooo bored

top 2 dream jobs:
* architect (siguro pwede na rin java architect... hahaha)
* chef

top 2 films Id watch over and over again:
* ocean's eleven
* coyote ugly

top 2 songs I can listen to again and again:
* heaven is you
* take me out of the dark

top 2 books I read from cover to cover:
* any dan brown book
* harry potter books

top 2 reasons to watch television:
* to make me fall asleep
* to kill time

top 2 places I'd want to visit 10 yrs. from now:
* europe
* canada

top 2 great men you've encountered:
* the architect
* my lolo

top 2 obsessions:
* shopping
* shoes

top 2 favorite cartoon character:
* pooh
* chuckie of rugrats

top 2 favorite girls name:
* laura
* liah

top 2 favorite guys name:
* kiel
* craig

top 2 favorite foods:
* taho
* pasta

top 2 favorite snacks:
* ice cream
* crackers

top 2 favorite website:
* google
* <-- yikes geek!

20 people...this is fun

1. kay
2. ate jing
3. gabs
4. the architect
5. louise
6. HH
7. punzi
8. kv
9. jaime
10. pheng
11. suy
12. chad
13. karen
14. doc mike
15. anna
16. pleng
17. mait
18. kakay
19. diane
20. roldz


Who is 8 going out with?: her boyfriend jeremy

Is 9 a boy or a girl?: boy

Would 11 and 2 make a cute couple?: ngeee... hindi talo

How about 18 and 4? nope! not my sister!

What grade is 17 in?: graduated already

When was the last time you talked to 12?: a while ago

What is 6's favorite band?: I dont know really.

Does 1 have any siblings?: yes... 1 only

Would you ever date 3?: of course! i will date my good friend!

Would you ever date 7?: nope! he's engaged and for christ's sake he's my officemate!

Is 16 single?: nope. my sister has a boyfriend.

What's 15's last name?: alonzo

What's 5's middle name?: I dont know

What's 10's fantasy?: whahaha... im not so sure about that but im thinking of something. hahaha.

Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?: my youngest sister dating my ex? of course not! bantay bata yun noh!

What school does 20 go to?: he graduated already... UP diliman

Tell me a random fact about 11: she goes around the office at exactly 3pm and asks... 'Anong ginagawa mo?' we call it suy's supervisor mode. hihihi.

And 1: she's still my most baliw bestfriend ever!

Have you ever had a crush on 16?: nope! she's my sister!

Where does 3 live?: in san juan

What's 4's favorite color?: i dont know... maybe white. god i really dont know him!

Would you makeout with 10?: hahaha. though my officemates really want to see those kinds of things, i still wont. lesbo love! hahaha!

Are 5 & 1 best friends?: they know each other but i dont think they are best of friends.

Do you like 20?: yes as a friend.

Does 1 like 2?: im not so sure if theyve finally reconciled their differences.

How did you meet 15?: back in highschool through common friends

Does 6 have any pets?: none at the moment.

Is 12 older than you?: of course! very much!

Is 1 the sexiest person? : if i say no she might kick me. hihihi. peace bes!

Have you ever given 13 a hug? : yes. miss you cuz!

It's not so obvious im bored

1.Dapat ba guwapo?
~ no. i dont like gwapo guys... madaming kahati. hihi. cute would be enough!
~ he should be or else he'll feel intimidated by me. hahaha
3.Preferred Age?
~ older than me. not very very old though!
4.Preferred Height?
~ not so tall. but definitely taller than me. kawawa naman future babies kasi wala ng pagkukunan ng tangkad sa side ko. hahaha.
5.How about sense of humor?
~ he should definitely have this!
6.How about piercings?
~ I dont like guys wearing earrings. im into neat looking guys.
7.Accepts me for who I am?
~ he should. hihi
8. Pink hair?
~ goodness!!! kakalbuhin ko sha
9.Mushy or no?
~ sweet and romantic
10.Thin or Fat?
~ I dont like payatot. baka madurog if i hug him. hahaha. i want him to be just right or tabachoy para malambot. hihi
11.Moreno or Chinito or Mestiso?
~ im not attracted to chinese men. most of my crushes are moreno but my exes are all tisoy. hahaha.
12.Long Hair or Short Hair?
~ short definitely!
13.Plastic or Metal?
~ nye
14.Smells good?
~ he should! i love smelling my guy... bad habit!
~ just like me...
~ nah. im not a drinker myself.
17.boy-next-door type?
~ i like him to be a little bad boy looking... more manly though!
18.Musically inclined?
~ he should be.
19.Plays the Piano?
~ if he cant, it doesnt matter because i play the piano anyways
20. Plays the guitar?
~ if he cant, it doesnt matter because i play the guitar anyways
21.Plays violin?.
~ that would be interesting
22.Sings very good?
~ sana!
~ he could be
24.With Glasses?
~ pwede... he'll look smarter
25. With Braces?
~ if he needs it, i dont mind
26.Shy type?
~ nope! ayoko nun! torpe? no way!
27. from ADMU or DLSU?
~ go UP! hahaha.
28.Active or Passive?
~ i prefer active
29.Sporty or Couchpotato?
~ middle
30.Singer or Dancer?
~ hmmm... pwede ba both?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

First Post

Hi. I've decided to move my old blog to another location. Somewhere it can't be read by the people whom i know will be affected by the things ive written there. Ive decided to create a new blog instead but retain the name of my original blog.

The architect has read my old blogs. Yes, I gave him permission to read it... which almost gave him a heartattack that could have killed him. I will not allow it to happen anymore. If by any chance he will be able to reach this blog again, I will make sure it will not cause him pain. Therefore, more censorship on my side.

I promise to be more tactful this time. Welcome to my new blog!