Wednesday, August 17, 2005

To Let Go Takes Love

Got this from one of my bulletin board messages....

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means that I cant do it if for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I cant control another.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and to live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and to love more.

Letting go is an art. Moving on is a skill. Combined, it's a talent. Hahaha.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Senti Mode

I got this from an email...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Celebrations for August

HH and I celebrated our 4th year anniversary last week. After all the on and offs, we lasted this long. =D Cheers to us and to celebrating more anniversaries together!

HH celebrated his 25th birthday last Aug 7. We went to Tagaytay with his family to visit his Mom's farm there and then we stayed at Days Hotel Tagaytay overnight... just the two of us. Had to catch up with some quality time with HH. =D We went back to Manila the following day.

Mom and Pops celebrated their silver wedding anniversary last Aug 9. They made it! Im so glad they lasted this long together inspite of all those bad things that happened. We gave them a big photo mosaic of the two them as a gift. My sisters made for 2 weeks.

What else? Im looking forward to Pop's 50th birthday on the 26th and Glaf's 4th birthday on the 31st. there are so many things to celebrate this month. I hope I dont gain back the 3months worth of weight i lost in just a month.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I am in manila

Sorry for the late post. I arrived manila friday last week. I havent been blogging for a while now because i just dont feel like sharing what's running inside my head. Things have been quite different here in manila. Here are some of the things i cannot keep my mouth shut and stop ranting about:

1. the weather! It's soooooooo hot here. Going to work every morning seems like an endless burden because im trying my best not to sweat too much while walking a couple of kilometers from where my fx drops me and then going to my office under the blazing morning heat of the sun.

2. the traffic. I will never get used to being trapped in slow moving traffic here in manila! it's so obvious that manila is getting more over populated each day. This gives me more reason to migrate abroad. Hmmm... maybe more women should have one of their ovaries removed just like me so that they'll only have 50% chance of getting pregnant... therefore, decreasing the population by 50%! wooohoooo! hahaha.

3. im bored with my work. well actually, i am not currently assigned to any project. And my wicked operations manager (peace jaime!), assigned me to help the basis (some SAP geek! hihi) guy to install and configure the new netweaver server. I am a programmer and not some system's administrator! It's not in my job description to setup those stuff and im not even qualified to do those stuff! Grrrrrr... it just annoys me because they bombard me with so many reading materials which are so alien to me. Hayyyy.... Boss says it's something nice to put in your resume. I dont really care! I am not a SAP consultant and I am not interested in doing installations and configurations of those stuff.

4. Family issues. this isnt something new. i missed my family so much but when i hear mom and pops arguing and then mom ends up crying, i just forget that i miss them! if the marriage isnt working, id rather they separate than let the kids hear their endless arguments. im getting pissed at how petty the things they fight about. it's so childish! ang hirap talaga magpalaki ng magulang.

5. very high expenses. cost of living here in manila is definitely lower than that of helsinki. im just wondering why i spend more here in manila than in finland considering that im earning more in finland than when im here in manila. quite ironic! last check, my credit card bill is already more than 22k. OMG! the month just started and my cut-off is until the 12th of the month. where the hell did i spend 22k?!

Lessons learned:
1. it's good to shut up. No matter how right you think you are, whatever comes out of your mouth might be used against you.

2. follow the manual to the dot. some people are just stubborn to follow instructions. instructions are already written explicitly and still they dont follow. hmmmm... hard-headed people! if things still dont work out after following instructions to the dot, blame the person who wrote the instructions.hehe.

3. trust is not given for free. it is something you should earn.

4. people can speak of bad things about you and judge you by the way they think of you. whatever they think and say shouldnt matter because they are not the people who are important to you.

5. it's hard to think when youre too emotional. better not say anything until you get your rational side back.

6. i have only few trusted friends. they are the people who will not compromise my trust to them, will not hesitate to tell me if i am wrong, will keep my sanity intact in my moments of depression, will always be there during my triumphs and even in my darkest days.

have to go back to work! =)