Fine! It's 27! I am a year older. Thank you to everyone who did not forget my day. I am honestly surprised with how many people sent their greetings (through sms, emails, offline msgs, comments in my multiply, friendster, calls) this year.

It's difficult to be away from home especially in occasions that you are celebrating something important and you want your family to be a part of it. This is my first birthday that I celebrated away from home. My aunt and her family took me and my cousin from Sacramento to SeaWorld San Diego. (Twice in Seaworld in less than a month! Sulit na ang $92 annual pass!) We also had a nice Italian dinner at Buca di Beppo somewhere in Diego area. See! Being away from home on your birthday isn't so bad at all. I guess I just have to get used to this fact that I will be celebrating more special occasions alone and away from my comfort zone.

When I started working at 20, I have already mapped out my plans for the next 20years of my life. I kept an i-should-have-this-by-this-age and i-should-have-done-that-by-this-age checklist. I have always been the planner kind of person and I felt like everything that I do, my way of thinking and my decisions are all bound to affect my 20year plan. I admit I am a control freak. I want everything in order and how I planned them to be. During the past month that I have been in the US, I have met people who made me realize that there is life outside the confines of my office cubicle... that life is more fun when you take each day as they come... when you don't limit yourself to what you have mapped out for your life. God has been good to me the past year that he let me experience these wonderful things in my life. This blog is for those people who share the same passion as mine... to those who aren't afraid to explore and to those wandering souls who are trying to find meaning in their lives.

My relationship is in a difficult situation now. Although I've been away before, this is the first time in our relationship that we barely talk. I have always believed in long distance relationships, for as long as the partners exert every effort to make it work. HH and I havent been speaking with each other... well not as often as we used to when I was in Helsinki. This worries me because I dont see his effort to make things work out. And then I have this guy friend who gives me so much attention and I am honestly scared that I am slowly falling for him. My brain is resisting this temptation but my heart is starting to fall out of love with HH. I have so much love to give and yet the person I want to give it has started walking away from my life. This guy friend is not difficult to love. He's really kind and probably the boyfriend that you would bring home to meet your family. Although I had a lot of chances that I could have just easily told him that I like him, the Maria Clara in me stopped me. I am really hoping that this is just a passing fancy. I don't want to be caught up again in a very difficult situation that I had to choose.

The other day, this someone asked me if I was happy with HH. It took me a while before I answered, "I make him happy", referring to HH. And then this someone told me that I wasn't being true to myself because I wasn't happy. I guess I am destined to make other people happy at my expense. I am again having this feeling that I am so stuck in this relationship and I don't want to leave HH just because I am scared that it might ruin his life. I just feel that I am responsible for him now and that if he does anything bad or stupid to himself, I will be blaming myself for it. See... I hate it when somebody I like comes along because I am always having second thoughts about my current relationship with HH. Is this a sign that I should be re-evaluating my relationship? I was never like this in my past relationships. Maybe this is what happens when your feelings was just developed and there was really no spark between the two of you to begin with. Hayyy... I hate this feeling.

I arrived LA yesterday. I am currently staying at my aunt's house here in Temecula. She has a huge house here and my room is like a hotel room. I can literally live inside my own bathroom. Hahaha. Will post pictures of the house next time.

I was honestly sad to leave San Francisco. It felt like home there. I wasn't even homesick at all because the family who has adopted me is so warm and made me feel like I am really a part of their family. I could never be grateful enough to them. I am missing them so much.

I don't know if I should be bothered by my crush. He's been showing signs that I don't quite understand or should I say I am scared to find out the meaning of his words and actions. The day before I left, he was really sweet. He kept telling me during our yosi sessions and texting with me that he will miss me. I am just not sure if he just saw a sister in me that's why he will be missing me. Anyway, here are some excerpts of my chat conversations with him... maybe you can help me figure out if he likes me too...

r******** (11/7/2007 10:17:18 PM): hey..it feels funny to come home for lunch and youre not here...hehe
Me (11/8/2007 2:11:36 AM): =( you do miss me
r******** (11/8/2007 4:43:52 AM): hey sup...
r******** (11/8/2007 4:43:53 AM): just got home
r******** (11/8/2007 4:44:00 AM): yup i do..heheh

Aww... that was touching! There were several text messages the night before I left that he kept telling me that he will miss me. And then yesterday morning, he went to my room and said that if ever he won't be able to go to the airport with me, he's saying goodbye. He hugged me and whispered to my ear that he will miss me. And then during lunchtime he came to the house and took me to the airport with the rest of his family. (Imagine that! His mom, dad, brother, nephew and him took me to the airport!) When I got out of his car, he again hugged me then whispere that he is going to miss me. Whachatink?

Labels: lovelife

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
- credit card bills! I have tons of them.

2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
- alfresco dinner overlooking the city of paris

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
- long time ago. I limit my alcohol intake as much as I can.

4 . Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar?
- danced on top of the bar? nope.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
- Ms. Limpin

6. What are you doing right now?
- working on Ron's website

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
- I think I wanted to be a lawyer, architect and teacher.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
- just 1... UP

9. Why did you get the shirt that you have on right now?
- bought it in one of my trips in Helsinki

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go
- Honestly, I want to take my crush with me (haha) but then if we'll be spending a long time in that place, I'd bring HH along to Barcelona.

12 . First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
- Maaga pa... pwede pa matulog

13 . Last thought before going to sleep last night?
- I had a great night with crush. Bat kasi ngayon ka lang dumating?!

14. Favorite style of underwear?
- sensored

1 5. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
- boxers... haha

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
- cleaning the house!

17 . If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
- of course

18. Get up early or sleep in?
- sleep in

19. Breakfast this morning?
- clam chowder and water

20 . Favorite thing to do at night with your honey?
- watch tv

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
- that I only have 50% chances of getting pregnant

22 . When did you first start feeling old?
- when my friends started getting married and having kids

23 . Favorite 80s movie?
- Back to the future

24. Your favorite lunch meal?
- Fried chicken

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco/Sam's Club?
- walang costco/sam's club sa manila

26 . Beach or Lake?
- none of the above.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
- really?

28. Who do you stalk on myspace?
- nobody. he's not in myspace! hahaha

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
- shopping

30 . Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
- wala naman

31 . What's your drink?
- smirnoff ice

32. Who from high school would you like to run into?
- Angge... I hope to see her when I go down to LA next week

33 . What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
- back in manila, 101.5

34 . What is a rumor that someone has spread about you?
- that I was getting married. haha

35 . Futurama or Simpsons?
- simpsons

36. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
- no more regrets

37. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
- nobody yet... haha

38. What famous person would you like to have dinner with??
- the Pope

Labels: friendster survey